Are you Afraid of the Dark?

Beware of mutant space geckos, because Pitch Black is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell: Pitch Black is a clever little science fiction film with a used universe aesthetic and a scintillating performance by Vin Diesel as escaped convict Richard B. Riddick. Too bad David Twohy had to muck it all up in the sequel…

This movie contains:

Keith David, Space Faring Muslim.

Purple People Eaters? (Okay, that’s more of a Cyan…)

ACTING!

PATHOS.

COMING SOON!

Once again we’ll venture into the Gothic imagination of Guillermo del Toro

when Sean and I review The Devil’s Backbone.

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9 Responses

  1. a double dose of wonderful! A podcast with Katherine the Great AND a movie that features Keith David!! The perfect mix with which to enjoy a podcast

    On another note, I’m sorry to tell you Goob, but Katherine’s creature noices sound much cooler.

  2. Chronicles’ problem — and I’m actually with Surat in liking it, although I freely admit it’s terrible — is that it takes a very lean, very no-nonsense film and tries to layer on buckets of mythology and wizard stuff that is completely out of the blue and never hinted at in Pitch Black. Filet Mignon is delicious. If you slather on a gallon of gravy and goop, it doesn’t make it better; it ruins it.

  3. i just discovered the podcast and have listened to about 30 of them in the last two or three days. great stuff, but what is up with the pronunciations, paul?

    dude, youre odd-viously (are you saying it that way on purpose?) an intelligent guy, so what’s with the rad-ja mitchell? (it’s said more like rodda.) and on the strange days ‘cast you called big ralphy fiennes RAY, when his name is, as one of the other guys suggested, pronounced to rhyme with SAFE, (according to ralph, himself).

    minor quibbles, but they destroy my suspension of disbelief. suddenly, instead of listening to some classic talk-radio show, gathered around the giant wooden cabinet with the family 60 years ago; i’m listening to a fan-boy podcast-alone-in 2008. (sigh.)

    don’t worry. i still love it.

    by the way, i think Kat’s voice is great and she totally has looks to match.

  4. Here’s the reason why Pitch Black is inferior to THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK~!: it’s a horror movie.

    Here’s the news: horror is an inferior genre to all other movies. Including the romantic comedy and possibly even the Jane Austen Victorian period drama.

    The decision to de-horror the horror movie and make an entire movie that’s like just the end part of Pitch Black where Riddick punches aliens in the face is the best possible decision that anyone could ever have made. You might think it’s retarded to be able to outrun the sun faster than Brendan Fraser was able to outrun the sun. That’s your perogative as well as Bobby Brown’s. But scientists* have determined that it’s still less retarded than any horror movie ever.

    Horror: the unentertaining movie genre.

    *I am a scientist

  5. I’d see the movie Riddick Punches Aliens in the Face. On IMAX. Especially if he teamed up with Bennett.

    Back when Chronicles was released and there were posters for it all over the subway, I overheard a group of young men conversing with each other thusly:

    Kid 1: That shit’s gonna be bad-ass.
    Kid 2: No doubt, no doubt.
    Kid 3: What the hell are Chronicles?
    Kid 1: You stupid? Chronicles are his eyes, like how they glow and shit, and Riddick is always watching. He’s always watching.

    It was the most awesome conversation I’ve ever heard since I heard two guys debating over whether Jean-Claude Van Damme’s name is Timecop is actually Timecop.

  6. While I feel guilty allowing my lame comment to follow Keith Allison’s “Timecop staring Timecop as: Timecop” anecodte, here I go anyway.

    I could be wrong, it’s been awhile, but I’m pretty sure them other containers had people in them too. Remember the guy that shows up from the crash early on? I remember him being from the other containers, though I guess he could’ve gotten dropped off the last one when they crashed or something.

    But Pitch Black really is fantastic, while Chronicles of Riddick is only good for non-contextually shouting WHERE DOES HE COME FROM? WHO ARE HIS PEOPLE? THESE. ARE. THINGS. I NEED. TO. KNOW.

  7. “Pitch Black” followed the monster movie formula perfectly, and it works. IMHO, it has tighter plot than, “The Chronicles of Riddick” (aka “The Chronic”). The characters are more developed and the story arc comes to an interesting conclusion.

    The Chronic is just a visual roller coaster of the Riddick dodging different obstacles and fighting half-dead monarchs. Riddick was not the mysterious figure of “Pitch Black”, who could be either good or evil. Instead, he was prophesized to be the savior of the universal.

    Now, I still like watching the Chronic, but I watch it for the cheesy lines like, “Bring me the Riddick” and “You keep what you kill”. And WTF was Judi Dench doing in the movie? I watch the Chronic for the bizarre spectacle that it is…

    Great podcast, Goob.

  8. Dave, you should have heard the “I’m Jim Die Hard, the original Die Hard’s brother” conversation.

  9. http://www.firstshowing.net/2008/08/25/vin-diesel-promises-two-more-chronicles-of-riddick-movies/

    I think the world is ready for xXx 3 after this stellar declaration in conjunction with the impending greatness of Transporter 3 aka Crank 1.5 and Crank 2 aka Crank 2.

    They all thought Xander Cage was dead, but the fools merely killed his stunt double.

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