Spider-pocalypse.

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Get the bug spray, because Kingdom of the Spiders is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell: A low-budget killer critter flick trying to cash in on the popularity of Jaws and The Birds, Kingdom of the Spiders features a surprisingly sharp escalation of tension, a surprisingly bleak conclusion, and an absolutely ridiculous number of adorable, cuddly tarantulas.

Now with 100% Less Pony

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Break out your Guitar Hero controller, because My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks is the greatest movie EVER!

Click on the title or the deceptive DVD cover above to download our review of the film,

featuring Neil Nadelman and Kara Dennison.

Review in a Nutshell: At first glance, a shallow cash-grab sequel of a blatant toy-shilling spin-off. In actuality, a shockingly good story of struggle, failure, and redemption that surpasses the original Equestria Girls film in every way.

FINAL THOUGHT:

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CONFIRMED.

That Baby Knows the Iron Armor Technique.

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Rack one into the chamber, because Shoot `Em Up is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Daryl Surat of Anime World Order.

Review in a Nutshell: An over-the-top action film with a strong sense of humor, Shoot `Em Up seems doomed to be miss-classified and miss-categorized. This film is the director’s love letter to the sort of improbable action sequences pioneered by the violent Hong Kong films of the 1990s, and thus it doesn’t entirely fit in among comparable Western films.

Final Thought:

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Eat your vegetables.

There’s Always Room for Dog-Murder

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Broadswords and frying pans make great anti-werewolf weapons, and Dog Soldiers is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean ‘Hollywood’ Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: Gruesome and gory, Dog Soldiers is a fun little action-horror film with a grotesque sense of humor and great onscreen chemistry among the soldiers. The werewolf suits are pretty cool, too.

Where, oh, werewolf? Where is my Werewolf?

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Get ready to howl in frustration, because An American Werewolf in Paris is not the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Matt, aka Saint Mort from The Saint Mort Show.

Review in a Nutshell: This is not the worst werewolf movie in the world. It’s just a tribute…

Ouroboros Pulp Rip-Off?

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Load up your double-barrel sawed-off shotgun (and never fire it), because King Solomon’s Mines (1985) is probably not the Greatest Movie EVER.

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin the Great.

Review in a Nutshell: While not the worst Indiana Jones cash-in nor the worst adaptation of H. Rider Haggard’s Allan Quatermain novels, the Canon Film Group’s version of King Solomon’s Mines is a serious contender for those titles. It’s really, really, really bad. Seriously, why is that giant spider lurking inside an active volcano?

Vincenzo Averello Attempts to Murder Us.

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In our ongoing quest to fulfill the IndieGoGo campaign perks, Sean and I tackle The Stranger and the Gunfighter (aka El kárate, el Colt y el impostor, aka Blood Money).

It’s a fusion of spaghetti Western and Shaw Brothers kung fu film that stars Lee Van Cleef and Lieh Lo.

It ought to be awesome, right? Click on the VHS cover or the title above to download our review of the film to find out.

Review in a Nutshell: This movie is bad. Really, really, really bad. Not the good kind of bad. The bad kind of bad.

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