“BABIESSSSSS!”

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Come on out of your shell, because Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER.

Review in a Nutshell: This one’s a bloodbath. I believe Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze  is a bad movie that does not hold up to starry-eyed childhood nostalgia. My co-hosts disagree. I get to write these blurbs, though, so I WIN! MWA HA HA!

Estelle Getty is Kind of a Magical Pixie Dream Girl.

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Button up your diapers, because Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Andrew of Collection DX.

Review in a Nutshell: Universally pilloried for Stallone’s poor performance, the terrible writing, and the lame jokes, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot is not as bad as you would expect it to be, largely because Estelle Getty is quite a charming lady. This film plays like a forensic examination on how not to make a comedy, and for that reason I find it fascinating.

Sean Couldn’t Think of ‘Feel Good Inc.’

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Get ready to paint the town red, because High Plains Drifter is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the Bluray cover or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Sean ‘Hollywood’ Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: A revisionist Western with a splash of the supernatural added in, High Plains Drifter is well-constructed but morally bleak film that weaves a tale of lost souls, greed, conspiracy, and revenge from beyond the grave.

4th DIMENSIONAL ATTACK!?!

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Strap on your space bikini, because Star Crash is definitely the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin the Great.

Review in a Nutshell: Star Crash is an Italian Star Wars knock-off that is amazingly bad on every technical level. Ridiculous, absurd, and illogical, it manages to turn a 92 minute run time into a torturous cinematic experience that lasts an eternity. I love it. I haven’t laughed so hard in years.

This movie contains:

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Leaping Cavemen.

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Mind Lasers.

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Joe Spinell, Space Tyrant.

Stomp Romp / Zilla Thrilla: The Not-so-Safety Dance

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We’re bringing you another entry in our ongoing Godzilla-themed coverage, in which Guy Woodruff and I team up to talk about goofy dances, weird aliens, and the many and varied rumors swirling around the late Nick Adams, an actor with a colorful off-screen life. CLICK HERE or on the banner above to download our review of Invasion of Astro-Monster, better known as Godzilla vs Monster Zero.

Triple (Film) Threat!

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Don’t drink the water, because Three the Hard Way is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: Suffering from spotty direction and a thin plot, Three the Hard Way succeeds purely on the charisma of its lead actors and the stunt work of the legendary Hal Needham.

It’s my Pain, It’s my Loneliness.

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Hold onto your entrails, because Fist of the North Star (1986) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Daryl Surat of AnimeWorldOrder and M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell: A compilation film encapsulating a huge chunk of a television series that ran for over 150 episodes, Fist of the North Star is a movie that doesn’t bother to apologize or explain. It’s an acquired taste, and at best an unlikely starting point for budding anime fans.

We completely forgot to mention:

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This ship.

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The Mud Golem scene.

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Jeff Tatarek’s Horse.

Swinging on a Star

Coming from a time when cappuccino was an unknown thing, Hudson Hawk is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: An R-rated adventure-comedy that vacillates between cartoonish violence and realistic brutality, Hudson Hawk is a movie that feels like a throwback to earlier heist films on one hand, yet was also seems at least ten years ahead of its time with its tale of Da Vinci conspiracy, mobsters, singing cat-burglars, and frothy Italian coffee drinks.

Gotta Go Fast.

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Fuel up the Mach 5, because Speed Racer is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Daryl Surat of AnimeWorldOrder and Thomas Pandich.

Review in a Nutshell: Critically savaged and commercially unsuccessful, Speed Racer is a visually imaginative family film directed by the Wachowskis. Some people will not be able to enjoy the film’s super-saturated color palette and kinetic editing, but upon re-watching it, I discovered a film with a surprisingly resonant emotional core.

You Can’t Hit Me With Your Slow Bullets.

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Sharpen up your katana, because Versus is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting and Daryl Surat of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell: Frenetic, funny, and action-packed, Versus is a genre-bending action / horror / Yakuza picture with a mystic twist. It’s an independent movie with a small budget and a big heart.

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