The Girl Who Loved Tony Jaa

chocolate2008_poster

Taste the fury, because Chocolate (2008) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Sean ‘Hollywood’ Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: From the makers of Ong-Bak and The Protector, what I expected from Chocolate and what the movie delivered were two very different things. The central conceit is that the protagonist is an autistic girl with the ability to mimic any martial arts style she sees, but the film is much more dramatic than I anticipated, treating the challenges faced by family members with special needs with a surprising degree of dignity and respect.

“BABIESSSSSS!”

tmnt-ii-movie-poster
Come on out of your shell, because Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER.

Review in a Nutshell: This one’s a bloodbath. I believe Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze  is a bad movie that does not hold up to starry-eyed childhood nostalgia. My co-hosts disagree. I get to write these blurbs, though, so I WIN! MWA HA HA!

Triple (Film) Threat!

three

Don’t drink the water, because Three the Hard Way is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: Suffering from spotty direction and a thin plot, Three the Hard Way succeeds purely on the charisma of its lead actors and the stunt work of the legendary Hal Needham.

It’s my Pain, It’s my Loneliness.

fist-of-the-north-star-eastern-star

Hold onto your entrails, because Fist of the North Star (1986) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Daryl Surat of AnimeWorldOrder and M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell: A compilation film encapsulating a huge chunk of a television series that ran for over 150 episodes, Fist of the North Star is a movie that doesn’t bother to apologize or explain. It’s an acquired taste, and at best an unlikely starting point for budding anime fans.

We completely forgot to mention:

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This ship.

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The Mud Golem scene.

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Jeff Tatarek’s Horse.

You Can’t Hit Me With Your Slow Bullets.

versus

Sharpen up your katana, because Versus is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting and Daryl Surat of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell: Frenetic, funny, and action-packed, Versus is a genre-bending action / horror / Yakuza picture with a mystic twist. It’s an independent movie with a small budget and a big heart.

“Who’s the Master?”

last_dragon
You’ve got the Glow, because Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: The Last Dragon is an uneven movie. Half musical, half martial arts journey, the film suffers from a weakly-written protagonist played by a talented young athlete with no previous acting experience. It falls to the supporting cast – especially Julius J. Carry III as Sho’Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem – to carry the film.

‘Expertise and Child for Rent’

shogun-assassin
Get ready to walk the Road to Hell, because Shogun Assassin (aka Lone Wolf and Cub) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the British DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: A mash-up of the first two Lone Wolf and Cub films, Shogun Assassin stands on its own merits thanks to its original contributions, such as the weird electronic soundtrack and Daigoro’s voice-over. It’s an excellent introduction into the world of chanbara and jidaigeki films.

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