Ducks are Horrifying.

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Light up your cigar, because Howard the Duck is (definitely not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Sean ‘Hollywood’ Hunting and Rachel Pandich of Skin Crawling Comics.

Review in a Nutshell: A terrible mish-mash of raunchy adult comedy with family-friendly summer adventure movie, Howard the Duck is legendarily bad. How it managed to garner a cult following despite its numerous flaws continues to confound explanation. Rachel and Sean love it, though.

Some People Call Him Maurice?

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Tune up your sitar, because The Love Guru is (definitely not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or title above to download our review of the film, featuring Zac Bertschy of ANNCast.

Review in a Nutshell: Remember that scene in Hellraiser where the guy is playing with the Lament Configuration and all the hooks come out of the walls and tear him to pieces? This movie is like that, only in bad comedy form.

Stealth Polar Bear is Stealthy.

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Strap on your snow shoes, because The Frankenstein Theory is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Katherin the Great.

Review in a Nutshell: A fairly typical found-footage horror film saddled with a particularly improbable premise, The Frankenstein Theory plays more like a tourist advertisement for beautiful Alaskan scenery than a suspenseful melodrama. I enjoyed Kris Lemche as the resident mad scientist, though.

Stomp Romp / Zilla Thrilla: “That’s a lot of fish.”

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Our slow-burning Godzilla theme continues with an exploration of everyone’s least favorite American G-film, Roland Emmerich’s 1998 “classic”, Godzilla. CLICK HERE or on the banner above to listen to Sean and I discuss our first tastes of colossal cinematic disappointment, everything this film does wrong, and a few things that it does right.

ERRATA: Some corrections are in order. Parthenogenesis is a type of asexual reproduction, and some lizard species do in fact engage in it. Also, the 1994 American Godzilla script by Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio actually predates the publication of the Shusuke Kaneko Heisei-era Gamera trilogy, which began in 1995, so to claim the former was ripping off the latter was inaccurate.

We forgot to mention Gedde Watanabe.

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Sharpen your daggers, because 47 Ronin is (not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the title or the movie poster above to download our review of the film, featuring Gerald Rathkolb of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell: Combine a dubious choice of subject matter, cultural appropriation / whitewashing / racebending, an overblown budget, an unnecessary 3D post-conversion treatment, numerous delays, studio interference, a novice director, deceptive marketing, and an indifferent film-going audience and you get a recipe for disaster. As a movie, 47 Ronin is bland with a few entertaining moments, but as an exercise in how not to make a movie, it is fascinating.

“BABIESSSSSS!”

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Come on out of your shell, because Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER.

Review in a Nutshell: This one’s a bloodbath. I believe Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze  is a bad movie that does not hold up to starry-eyed childhood nostalgia. My co-hosts disagree. I get to write these blurbs, though, so I WIN! MWA HA HA!

Estelle Getty is Kind of a Magical Pixie Dream Girl.

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Button up your diapers, because Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Andrew of Collection DX.

Review in a Nutshell: Universally pilloried for Stallone’s poor performance, the terrible writing, and the lame jokes, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot is not as bad as you would expect it to be, largely because Estelle Getty is quite a charming lady. This film plays like a forensic examination on how not to make a comedy, and for that reason I find it fascinating.

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