“You are not brought upon this world to get it!”

btlc
Get ready to shake the pillars of Heaven, because Big Trouble and Little China is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean ‘Hollywood’ Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: It’s all in the reflexes.

Sean’s Funtime Adventure!

forbidden_kingdom

Hold on to your magical bo staves, because The Forbidden Kingdom is definitely not the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: With glimmers of its true potential shining through despite poor editing and a hackneyed script, The Forbidden Kingdom nevertheless manages to squander an enormous amount of talent.  Our whopping 63 minute podcast explains all the reasons why Sean describes this film as a ‘kung fu love letter written by an illiterate’.

Of Duty, Honor, and Scaffolding…

Lash up some bamboo scaffolding, because Return to the 36th Chamber is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Return to the 36th Chamber is a kinder, gentler kung fu film that’s low on murder but high on comedy and creative choreography.  Included in this review is a discussion of how to find good martial arts films for fledgling kung fu fans.

This movie contains:

Wirework.

Coconut Head.

BOSS WANG.  BOSS WANG.   BOSS WANG.

No Charge for Awesomeness

Everybody loves kung fu fighting, and Kung Fu Panda is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Combining humor, heart, and heroism, Kung Fu Panda is a great kung fu movie with a positive message.  Don’t let the advertising fool you; there’s plenty of action, character development, and hilarity to be found here.

Bloodsport, ReDux?

Watch out for pirates, gangsters, and Tibetan monks, because The Quest is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Essentially Bloodsport retold in the 1920s, The Quest is Jean-Claude Van Damme’s directorial debut.  It’s a fun but flawed film which includes Roger Moore, elephants, and boatloads of inadvertent homoerotic subtext.

“Kwantsu, Dudes!”

Wax up your surf boards, because Surf Ninjas is The Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting and his Ernie Reyes Jr fetish.

Review in a Nutshell:  A goofy premise, good action choreography, and jokes that work more often than not make Surf Ninjas a surprisingly entertaining film.  All that and it has Leslie Nielsen getting crushed by an elephant, too.

This movie contains:

Ernie Reyes Jr.

Ernie Reyes Sr.

Cyborg Samurai Leslie Nielsen.

That Wu Du that You Do

Put on your secret kung fu master mask, because The 5 Deadly Venoms is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  One part Agatha Christie, one part violent gimmick kung fu, 5 Deadly Venoms is a classic that showcases the skills of some of the best martial arts actors to grace the silver screen.

This Movie Contains Stuff We Completely Forgot to Mention:

Throat Hook.

Brain Pin.

Ear Trauma.

“I Have Stolen Your Fish!”

Tie up your hair in ox-horns, because Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li is the Greatest (?) Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  Brightly-lit but grimly-scripted, The Legend of Chun-Li is a train-wreck of a film.  Watch it just to prove you could.

This movie does not contain:

Chun Li?

M. Bison?

Vega?

Liu Kang?

 

Revenge of the Shaolin Pimp Cane.

Just because you’re a Buddhist doesn’t mean you’re not a Master Killer, because

The 36th Chamber of Shaolin is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell: This was the break-out role of kung fu legend Gordon Liu.  Look for lots of gimmicky training scenes, and lots of surprisingly happy, accommodating Shaolin monks.

This movie contains:

SHAOLIN PIMP CANE.

Three Section Staff in the Hizzie.

HEADBUTT OF DEATH.

That’s all you get this week.  I’m off to Anime Weekend Atlanta, where I’ll be involved in the

Otaku USA panel as well as my own production, “Nobody loves GUNHED”, a panel with Tim Eldred.

COMING SOON!

“GRR.  ARGH.”

Big Month of Mark – Double Dragon

The Greatest Movie EVER!

Abobo can’t drive, and Double Dragon is the Greatest Movie EVER!

This movie contains:

Charmed?

Awesome Hair.

Robert Patrick doesn't even care.

AWESOME HAIR.

Kick him in the pit!

Fuzzy Memories.

ERRATA:

I got Michael Berryman’s name wrong. Sorry, Michael!

COMING SOON!

COMING SOON!

The Month of Mark Dacascos gets preempted for a very special Mother’s Day.

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