The Core is the Worst Movie EVER. We blame Daryl Surat over at AnimeWorldOrder for inflicting this cinematic atrocity on our psyches, and we swear upon the ghost of M.D. Geist and the ruins of the Brain Palace that vengeance shall be ours. Well, not really…we still love you, Daryl, in a completely heterosexual and non-threatening way.
Also, new installations in the Appatosaurus Preserve now allow us to record and publish an episode across vast gulfs of time, space, and probability without sounding like we’re shouting from inside a tin out-house. (Translation: We got some new software; the podcast should sound better than before.)
3 Minutes, 27 Seconds In:
D.J. Qualls surrenders. We do, too.
10 Minutes, 26 Seconds In:
It’s just a little scratch. He could be okay…
16 Minutes, 4 Seconds – 16 Minutes, 36 Seconds In:
Bishopcruz loses his frickin’ mind.
18 Minutes, 21 Seconds In:
ZEUS HATES ROME!!!
21 Minutes, 0 Seconds In – 21 Minutes, 29 Seconds In:
Invoking the Avatar of Warwick Davis, the Almighty Gooberzilla calls Supreme Shenanigans(TM).
NEW FEATURE! COMING SOON! A taste of what’s in store in the next Greatest Movie EVER Podcast.
Somebody set us up the bomb.
I commend your sterling bravery in the face of absolute horror that even I can’t face head-on. Truly the Greatest Podcast EVER except for that one time those vicious lies about Vin Diesel were spoken.
Next on your agenda: a special “went to the theater” episode declaring Crank to be the Greatest Movie EVER! Then, after that has been done, you will be ready to properly discuss Commando.
By contrast, The Covenant is the Worst Movie EVER! I secretly want The Marine to be the Greatest Movie EVER! but the grim reality of it all says otherwise.
I hope to cover Commando at some point in the future. My current scheme is to invite Dave and / or Joel from Fast Karate for the Gentlemen to co-host a Commando Podcast with me, as Commando is — in addition to being the apotheosis of all eighties action movies — apparently Dave’s favorite movie of all time.
I can’t justify shelling out $7.50 for The Covenant at present. When I heard that it was a.) a PG-13 horror movie, b.) about teenage witches, and c.) based off a graphic novel, I realized it would be the cinematic equivalent of a never-ending roller-coaster ride through the lightless pits of Tarterus. Maybe when it comes out on DVD.
Crank is a possibility, though. I’ll have to look into it.