Worst Movie EVER – The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast

The Ethics of Tuna and Apple Juice.

Power up your flash lights, because Little Monsters is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin the Great.

Review in a Nutshell: Weirdly gruesome and oddly grotesque, Little Monsters is a kid’s movie that suffers from questionable production values, an unsympathetic protagonist, and an inconsistent tone. The film falls into a nether-region somewhere between fantasy, dark comedy, and childhood buddy flick.

Not to be confused with “Funky Town”.

Gas up the 1967 Chevy Impala, because Phantom Town (also known as Spooky Town) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the VHS box cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: As far as low budget, “Weird West” children’s films about a suburban family succumbing to the depredations of an unspeakable Lovecraftian eldritch horror go, Phantom Town isn’t bad. Okay, it’s actually pretty bad, but its bizarre premise alone makes it worth watching at least once.

SHOW NOTES:

Here is a link to Erin Finnegan’s Puppet VR Murder Mystery Kickstarter Project. Good luck, Erin!

And here is what the cover of the 2013 DVD released by Moonbeam Entertainment looks like. Too spooky!

More Fun Than a Tank Full of Electric Eels. Maybe.

Lay off the anti-aircraft artillery, because Repticilus is (probably not) The Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the lobby card or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell: A Danish / American co-production sponsored in part by American International Pictures, Reptilicus is one part giant monster movie, one part travelogue, and one part puzzling artifact of the mysteries of international productions. Apparently, in the Danish version of the film, there is at least one more musical number, and also the titular monster can fly.

FINAL THOUGHT:

This is an actual screen capture that from Reptilicus, highlighting the movie’s “spectacular” special effects.

Naked Endoskeleton Tai Chi

Prepare coffee for your horses, because R.O.T.O.R. is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the VHS cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Andrew Collie of CollectionDX.

Review in a Nutshell: An inspired rip-off of both The Terminator and RoboCop, R.O.T.O.R. is the sort of film that is breath-taking in its complete and total cinematic incompetence. It must be seen to be believed.

FINAL THOUGHT:

That pose looks awfully familiar…

Ducks are Horrifying.

Light up your cigar, because Howard the Duck is (definitely not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Sean ‘Hollywood’ Hunting and Rachel Pandich of Skin Crawling Comics.

Review in a Nutshell: A terrible mish-mash of raunchy adult comedy with family-friendly summer adventure movie, Howard the Duck is legendarily bad. How it managed to garner a cult following despite its numerous flaws continues to confound explanation. Rachel and Sean love it, though.

Some People Call Him Maurice?

Tune up your sitar, because The Love Guru is (definitely not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or title above to download our review of the film, featuring Zac Bertschy of ANNCast.

Review in a Nutshell: Remember that scene in Hellraiser where the guy is playing with the Lament Configuration and all the hooks come out of the walls and tear him to pieces? This movie is like that, only in bad comedy form.

Stealth Polar Bear is Stealthy.

Strap on your snow shoes, because The Frankenstein Theory is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Katherin the Great.

Review in a Nutshell: A fairly typical found-footage horror film saddled with a particularly improbable premise, The Frankenstein Theory plays more like a tourist advertisement for beautiful Alaskan scenery than a suspenseful melodrama. I enjoyed Kris Lemche as the resident mad scientist, though.

Stomp Romp / Zilla Thrilla: “That’s a lot of fish.”

Our slow-burning Godzilla theme continues with an exploration of everyone’s least favorite American G-film, Roland Emmerich’s 1998 “classic”, Godzilla. CLICK HERE or on the banner above to listen to Sean and I discuss our first tastes of colossal cinematic disappointment, everything this film does wrong, and a few things that it does right.

ERRATA: Some corrections are in order. Parthenogenesis is a type of asexual reproduction, and some lizard species do in fact engage in it. Also, the 1994 American Godzilla script by Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio actually predates the publication of the Shusuke Kaneko Heisei-era Gamera trilogy, which began in 1995, so to claim the former was ripping off the latter was inaccurate.

We forgot to mention Gedde Watanabe.

Sharpen your daggers, because 47 Ronin is (not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the title or the movie poster above to download our review of the film, featuring Gerald Rathkolb of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell: Combine a dubious choice of subject matter, cultural appropriation / whitewashing / racebending, an overblown budget, an unnecessary 3D post-conversion treatment, numerous delays, studio interference, a novice director, deceptive marketing, and an indifferent film-going audience and you get a recipe for disaster. As a movie, 47 Ronin is bland with a few entertaining moments, but as an exercise in how not to make a movie, it is fascinating.

“BABIESSSSSS!”

Come on out of your shell, because Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER.

Review in a Nutshell: This one’s a bloodbath. I believe Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze is a bad movie that does not hold up to starry-eyed childhood nostalgia. My co-hosts disagree. I get to write these blurbs, though, so I WIN! MWA HA HA!