Ryuhei Kitamura, Little Debbie, and a Taste of Doppelganger

Despite pre-emptive protests by Daryl Surat from AnimeWorldOrder, Godzilla: Final Wars is the Worst Movie EVER.

 

Fair Warning:

You will need these if you wish to survive Godzilla: Final Wars.

 

2 Minutes, 24 Seconds In:

Ummm… I think I’ve seen this scene somewhere before?

 

5 Minutes, 58 Seconds In:

Josef Stalin saves the Universe!

 

14 Minutes, 28 Seconds In:

Minya-Jesus.

 

16 Minutes, 22 Seconds In:

I don’t know what he’s laughing about…
The Fashion-Police are about to serve an arrest warrant.

 

20 Minutes, 6 Seconds In – 21 Minutes, 17 Seconds In:

Despite Mom’s heartiest efforts to stop the downward spiral into madness, the Almighty Gooberzilla loses his frickin’ mind.

 


Oh yeah, and apparently Godzilla’s in this movie, too.

 

COMING SOON!

“I belieeeeeeeeeve I can flyyyyyyyyyyy…”

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5 Responses

  1. This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Due to an onslaught of automated spam software planting advertisements in my Comments section, I’ve enabled the Word Verification system.

    I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Blame the idiots advertising acne cream and contact lenses.

  3. Okay Goob, you win. Not a very hard victory though, as now that I’ve thought back on it, I realize I’ve never sat down and actually watched Final Wars. I obtained a rather poor internet copy in the raw Japanese back when it was released, and I own it on DVD now, but I went beyond mentally editing it in my mind. When I downloaded that raw release, I actually did just skip around to create about a half hour of monster fights and never got around to WATCHING the damn movie when I purchased the DVD a bit ago. So, I concede.

    Also, consider this a minute-long girlish squeal of anticipation: Squee. My love for the Rocketeer knows no bounds.

  4. I admit, beating up Godzilla: Final Wars is the definition of a Pyrrhic victory. It’s too easy. It’s like beating up a bus-load of handicapped children. I take no pleasure from it.

    I hope you like the Rocketeer podcast when I’m done editing it. I recorded it when I was tired and my brain was sluggish, so if Gunsmith, Bishop, and I spend an inordinant amount of time talking about how hot Jennifer Connelly is, I hope you forgive us.

  5. All due respect to the great and fearsome Gooberzilla, I must call Shenanagins on Final Wars getting the Worst Movie Ever tag.

    Yes, it’s a flawed production. The whole subplot with the mutants was fairly meaningless and of course we ALL wanted more of the Kaiju battling, but it hold together OK.

    It *entertains* and that’s the job of a Godzilla movie.

    Every time Capt. Gordon showed up I couldn’t stop grinning, waiting to hear how stiff and dubbed (as in originalvoice dubbed over) he would sound this time. Watching the old X-seijin put down the J-pop kid was a treat. COAT-FU!

    maybe it helps me that I’ve never seen the director’s other films, so I wasn’t bored with “Oh, he’s doing THAT again?” ideas.

    Yeah, the Matrix rips were way too much.

    Here’s my thing on the monster fights. The impression I got was simply Godzilla was a lizard on a mission and he didn’t have frickin’ TIME to lovingly engage in kaiju grappling, it was kill ’em and move it on, move it on.

    Well, OK, it’s a fair cop, the whole bit with the Old Man and Minya was a total WTF thing.

    The movie looks like it’s missing about a half hour. there’s all kinds of ‘people’ moments that seemed trimmed, like the whole thing with Capt. Gordon and the reporterette. They don’t really do a good job of explaining he’s making a speech about how she needs to document the final battle to let the survivors know how it went down (and keeps her off the ship so she’s safe), and you DO see in the ‘outtakes’ at the end she’s snapping pictures, but it’s all thrown away, no development.

    ah, someone probably figures it would have dragged things down, MORE WIRE-FU! bah.

    I liked it.

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