Cossack Ninjas Conquer Comedic Khans?

The Greatest Movie EVER!

Conveniently placed pommel-horses aside, Gymkata is the Greatest Movie EVER!

This movie contains:
Cossack Ninjas!

Cossack Ninjas.

That girl is crazy!

Psycho Girlfriends.


Rigorous Training Regimes.

Mel Brooks Impersonators?

This movie does not contain:

Facial Expressions.


  1. Ivan says:

    dang it, Paul! I was gonna do Gymkata in a coming up episode of my podcast.

    Now, I’ve got to wait until the smoke clears. 😉

  2. front-beat says:

    Weird how a pommel horse just suddenly appears out of nowhere

  3. Ivan says:

    Oh, I forgot to say–GREAT EPISODE, by the way.

  4. Daryl Surat says:

    I forced as many people as possible to watch this movie this past New Year’s Eve. That got everyone in the proper mindset for this:

    Now that Katherine has completed the first half, the second half is but a matter of time. After all, this is a film where living the dream aka boning the Asian chick is actually PART OF THE TRAINING MONTAGE.

    PS: That’s not bringing it back oldschool, that’s bringing it back so it’s not 5 times louder than the rest of the show anymore.

  5. Derek says:

    Wow, this does indeed sound like the Greatest Movie Ever. (Glad to hear a new recording of the intro btw). The random pommel horse scene is all over Youtube. I like how it looks like they tried to art design it to make it fit in that environment of people with pitchforks and scythes better.

    Of course the trailer with Don Fontaine saying GYMKATA! is just the icing on the cake

  6. Keith says:

    As great as Gymkata is — and it was the movie that caused me to start Teleport City — the movie also makes me sad. It makes me sad because sometimes you meet someone who has not yet seen it. And for them, I weep.

  7. Keith says:

    America’s immigration could be controlled with one thing and one thing only: the Ninja Warrior gauntlet

  8. Ian says:

    It’s this movie. You should follow it up with Death Ring the one with Billy Drago and Don Swayze.

  9. Gymkata is a documentary.

  10. Winter says:

    When I heard “Ninja Cossacks,” I thought it was “Ninja Coccyx.”

    Those must be some special tailbones, to learn the ways of the ninja.

  11. The Weapon says:

    Another great movie with “random” parallel bars is “The Princess Bride”, during the duel between The Dread Pirate Roberts and Inigo Montoya. Short Parallel bar routine in the middle of the fight for no reason other then to show off

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