Hide the honey pot, because The Wicker Man is (definitely not) The Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title to download our review of the film, featuring guest co-hosts Dave and Joel from Fast Karate for the Gentleman.
Review in a Nutshell: Good composition and production design cannot save a film that is poorly plotted, unconvincingly cast, and ultimately as subtle as a kick in the groin. Watch it for Nic Cage spazzing out. Or better yet, watch this clip on Youtube instead.
And now, Your Moment of Nicolas Cage Zen:
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 
I’m a big fan of the original and I agree with you that the remake’s lack of subtlety really hurts it. By making the Summerisle community into a bunch of murderous, super-matriarchal freaks, the remake misses the point. In the original, the islanders are eccentric but they’re initially more fun and likable than the uptight, cold Inspector Howie. You eventually get to sympathize with him as he demonstrates his dedication and integrity, but the islanders are never the overtly sinister types you see in the remake. When they kill him in the end, it’s disturbing because of how casual and upbeat they are about it. You get the sense that they’ll just go back to their normal routine after it’s all done and they’ll just be regular folk with some iconoclastic religious beliefs.
Fake Honey exists, and is offered in little packets at some fast food joints. I just happened to read the label of what I thought was honey one day and was surprised to see that it was called “Honey Sauce”. Ingredients: High-fructose corn syrup, artificial coloring, flavors & preservatives. No honey.
Now you know. And knowing is half the battle.
I would argue that a remake of the 6th Sense in 20 years would be interesting. But only if it was starring Bruce Willis who was actually dead during the shooting of the film.
I agree. The ending of the original was a real sucker punch and the tension and feeling of unease built steadily. In a way, the original was more like a modern asian horror movie, more on atmosphere than jump scares. Bless Mr Cage for consistently giving us cringe-worthy cinema.
p.s. The original was effective because it was based in actual religious conflict. I particularly like Christopher Lee ridiculing the policeman’s christian beliefs (“ah yes, a virgin impregnated by a ghost”). I’m not saying all pagans are evil, but the thing that really horrified me with the original is that they saw absolutely nothing wrong with what they were doing; this was a culture where this was not seen as murder, this was a noble sacrifice to save the community. I believe Christopher Lee’s character pointed out that the policeman (Edward Woodward) could have left at any point; he chose to stay there and so in their eyes was presenting himself as a sacrifice. With The Cage, we get A FICTIONAL EVIL BEE-CULT?
Anytime someone mentioned Cage in the bear suit I couldn’t help thinking of that youtube clip of a guy in a bear suit breakdancing.
The thing that gets me about the original ending is by having the scene with the girls in the bar, it makes the whole town look stupid. It means they wasted their time sacrificing Nic Cage to the Wicker Man. At least the original stopped as the Wicker Man burned down so we have no way of knowing who was right, Summerisle or Officer Howie. To me that comes off as a more ominous ending in keeping with the original’s conflict over religious beliefs
On another note Nick Cage and the bearsuit were nominated for a Razzie for worst couple
On another another note, the Razzies ceased to be relevant 27 years ago when they nominated Ennio Morricone and The Thing for Razzies. And that was only their 3rd time doing it. To Hell with those Sylvester Stallone-hating losers, patting themselves on the back for being OH SO CLEVER.
Also, all of my reviews on this podcast are chock full of stunning insight and analysis, so whoever writes those comments about how bad GME! episodes featuring myself, Dave/Joel, or all of the above are is completely wrong and thus can go lick a silvertip bear’s ass after it does a bipedal jog and punches them in the face.
I would’ve been more insightful if Paul hadn’t said “let’s talk about smart stuff” immediately after we started recording and I had to tear up all my notes on bear costumes.
For consistency’s sake I’m posting on here too(Dave). I thought this was an absolutely fabulous podcast. If indeed Paul said ‘Lets talk about smart stuff’ he should do it more often with the funnier guests, like Darryl and Dave/Joel. Let the haters be damned! They’re just mad cuz they don’t have a podcast…or friends.
To really enhance your experience, I suggest you find the video on youtube where the bearpunch is in slow motion. And set to chariots of fire. It’s a classy time.
HOWDITGEBURNED? and its subsequent, less intelligible brethren actually kind of define horror for me. It’s asking questions that I’m not ready for/don’t understand. Loudly.
I thought Joel’s apple analogy was actually rather brilliant. Wish there was more of that inserted into their (Dave/Joel) usual humor fare, particularly in their less funny reviews (i.e. stuff they actually like).
I never did or want to watch both version of The Wicker Man for difference reason.
The original version because a countdown told me the whole movie in 3 sentence and show me part of the ending. Which scares the hell of me that the whole town can sing, dance, and be happy while a man is being burn to death in front of them.
The remake on the other hand, from what I see in the trailer and you guys talking about it, look to me as a rip-off of so many horror flims. Aside the fact it a remark, the scene of a woman and her daughter getting kill by a track look familiar to a asian horror movie trailer which a man wife & daughter got kill by a track, killer bees chasing Cage remind me of so much Killer Bees movies, and the question (or lack thereof) of Cage being crazy or not in a crazy place plus beer suit have The Shining all over it.
The concept of symbolism men feeling overpower by women would have make a good movie, more Sci-fi than Horror though, if the director/writer was capable at his job.
Joel, haven’t you been on the podcast before? Why do you need a script?
Hey, someone make this video! Scenes from Cage Wicker Man mix up with scenes The Secret Life of Bees.