When a Shark Gets a Taste for MURDER…

Hold onto your windsurfing boards, because The Last Shark is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Phillip (formerly known as Eeeper of Eeeper’s Choice).

Review in a Nutshell:  A surprisingly compelling and emotionally gritty Italian creature feature exploitation film, The Last Shark is much more entertaining that it has any right to be considering the plot is a direct rip-off of Jaws and Jaws II.

No, Not That House. No, Not That One, Either.

 

Watch out for white kitty cats, because House (1977) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the title or the Bluray cover above to download our review of the film, featuring Tom Pandich of Shonen Dump.

 

Review in a Nutshell: An extremely strange and relentlessly artsy “ghost and fantasy” movie, House (1977) is a unique cinematic experience and well worthy of critical consideration. It’s not so much scary as nightmarish, and everyone should watch it at least once, if only on a dare.

In The Immortal Words of Shakespeare, “Eff Off, Dracula!”.

Hold onto your blood, because The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the Bluray cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Oli “InvidNinja92” Bulmer.

Review in a Nutshell: An ambitious production troubled by a clash of directorial styles and studio difficulties, the Hammer Films / Shaw Brothers co-production that pits martial heroes against Dracula and his hordes of jiangshi servants is not quite the chocolate / peanut butter combination you would expect from a film that mixes Gothic horror with kung fu action.

Ooooooo, Spooky Vampires!

Pray for daylight, because Near Dark is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the particularly egregious Bluray cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Kyle “ChibiUFO” Foster.

Review in a Nutshell: Part Western, part romance, part vampire film, part motorcycle gang road movie, Near Dark is a film with revolutionary ideas and strong performances that is weakened by the simplicity with which it solves its central problem. Definitely worth a viewing or two.

We’re Back, and So is a Werewolf with a Baseball Bat.

Light up your fireworks, because Silver Bullet is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the Bluray cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Matt “Saint Mort” Kelly of Horror Movie Night.

Review in a Nutshell: A werewolf movie plagued by odd directorial choices and studio interference, Silver Bullet nonetheless has strong performances from character actors such as Everett McGill that make it worth watching at least once.

The Tragic Demise of Chocolate Chip Charlie

Control your sweet-tooth, because The Stuff is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell: Existing in the uneasy space known as “horror-comedy”, The Stuff is a film that aspires to both gruesome “body melty” style thrills and scathing social commentary, with mixed results. Are you eating it, or is it eating you?

Not to be Confused with ‘Hard Rain’.

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Gas up the Sea-Doo, because Deep Rising is the Greatest Movie EVER?

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest host Matt “Saint Mort” Kelly of the Horror Movie Night podcast.

Review in a Nutshell: A typical Stephen Summers action-horror movie with some questionable screenwriting and some dodgy CG, Deep Rising is none-the-less remembered fondly by many fans. I am not one of those fans.

Not to be confused with “Funky Town”.

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Gas up the 1967 Chevy Impala, because Phantom Town (also known as Spooky Town) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the VHS box cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: As far as low budget, “Weird West” children’s films about a suburban family succumbing to the depredations of an unspeakable Lovecraftian eldritch horror go, Phantom Town isn’t bad. Okay, it’s actually pretty bad, but its bizarre premise alone makes it worth watching at least once.

SHOW NOTES:

Here is a link to Erin Finnegan’s Puppet VR Murder Mystery Kickstarter Project. Good luck, Erin!

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And here is what the cover of the 2013 DVD released by Moonbeam Entertainment looks like. Too spooky!

Don’t Worry, Kids; The Dolphins Survive

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Watch out for under-cranked stock footage from nature documentaries, because Jaws 3-D is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the title or the movie poster above to download our review of the film, featuring Matt “Saint Mort” Kelly from the Horror Movie Night podcast.

Review in a Nutshell: Hamstrung by an implausible premise and gimmicky 3-D camerawork, Jaws 3-D is arguably the nadir of the Jaws films. Despite a surprising amount of talent arrayed before and behind the camera, the film’s plot never quite hits its stride and the cinematography and special effects suffer from the de-conversion process. It’s an odd relic from an early Eighties 3-D revival that never got off the ground.

Don’t Let it Get Your Goat.

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Beware of women, witchcraft, and the wilderness, because The Witch (2015) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film featuring Zac Bertschy of Anime News Network and Kristina ‘ChibiUFO’ Foster.

Review in a Nutshell: A grim, challenging film of pain-staking period detail and exquisite composition, The Witch (2015) is an atypical, intelligent horror tale with strong feminist themes and disturbing religious subtext.