“I reject your reality…”

Boot up your personal A.I. assistants, because The Dungeonmaster (1984) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M., the “Mistress of Malapropisms”.

Review in a Nutshell: A science fiction film with heavy fantasy elements told in a series of vignettes from different directors, The Dungeonmaster (1984) is a high-concept, low-budget oddity from the heyday of producer Charles Band and distributor Empire Pictures.

“It’s Getting Weirder…”

Hold on to your crystal skulls, because House II: The Second Story is the Greatest Movie EVER?

Click on the title or the Blu-ray cover to download our review of the film, featuring guest host Kyle “ChibiUFO” Foster.

Review in a Nutshell: A PG-13 “sequel” to an R-rated original, House II: The Second Story is a horror comedy film that mostly works because of its strong production values, irreverent tone, and a strong performance by character actor Royal Danno as Gramps.

“He Sold His Soul for Rock ‘n’ Roll!”

Don’t bargain with the Devil, because Phantom of the Paradise is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the Blu-ray cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Matt “St. Mort” Kelly of Horror Movie Night.

Review in a Nutshell: A bizarre mash-up of Faust, The Phantom of the Opera, and The Picture of Dorian Gray, Phantom of the Paradise is a rock opera horror comedy that brims with brilliant visuals, outstanding songs, scathing satire and surprisingly deep and nuanced themes about power and the corruption of the creative arts.

Make Mine Murder-Chimp

Rev up the geospheres, because The Lawnmower Man is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the Bluray cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring “Celebrity Translator” Neil Nadelman.

Review in a Nutshell: A low-budget science fiction film with pioneering computer graphics and a burbling anxiety about the future abuses of virtual reality technologies that have as-yet failed to materialize, The Lawnmower Man bears no real resemblance to its source material, but the production design and performances are good despite a muddled narrative and inconsistent tone and pacing.

“That Dog Deserves a Medal!”

Get out your bag of treats, because Man’s Best Friend (1993) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the Bluray cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Matt “Saint Mort” Kelly from Horror Movie Night.

Review in a Nutshell: A competently made film that can’t seem to pick a tone and stick with it, Man’s Best Friend (1993) is hampered as a horror film by some questionable characterization, tonal inconsistencies, and a canine antagonist that is entirely too adorable for his murderous role.

Terrible Puns Incoming…

Hold on to your limbs, because Torso (1973) is the Greatest Movie EVER?

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest host Tom Pandich.

Review in a Nutshell: A fairly by-the-numbers serial killer exploitation film defined by its penchant for on-screen female nudity and misogynistic violence, Torso (1973) is elevated by a spectacularly suspenseful sequence in the film’s final act, but viewer discretion is strongly advised.

Bonus Episode: Jason Vorhees, Hero of the Proletariat

Hang on to your machetes, because Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the title or the movie poster above to download our review of the film, featuring Kyle “ChibiUFO” Foster.

Review in a Nutshell: A self-aware slasher made long before Scream cemented the conventions of subgenre, Jason Lives has a brisk pace and an irreverent sense of humor that make it both an interesting 80’s cultural artifact and an easy viewing experience.

When a Shark Gets a Taste for MURDER…

Hold onto your windsurfing boards, because The Last Shark is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Phillip (formerly known as Eeeper of Eeeper’s Choice).

Review in a Nutshell:  A surprisingly compelling and emotionally gritty Italian creature feature exploitation film, The Last Shark is much more entertaining that it has any right to be considering the plot is a direct rip-off of Jaws and Jaws II.

No, Not That House. No, Not That One, Either.

 

Watch out for white kitty cats, because House (1977) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the title or the Bluray cover above to download our review of the film, featuring Tom Pandich of Shonen Dump.

 

Review in a Nutshell: An extremely strange and relentlessly artsy “ghost and fantasy” movie, House (1977) is a unique cinematic experience and well worthy of critical consideration. It’s not so much scary as nightmarish, and everyone should watch it at least once, if only on a dare.

In The Immortal Words of Shakespeare, “Eff Off, Dracula!”.

Hold onto your blood, because The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the Bluray cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Oli “InvidNinja92” Bulmer.

Review in a Nutshell: An ambitious production troubled by a clash of directorial styles and studio difficulties, the Hammer Films / Shaw Brothers co-production that pits martial heroes against Dracula and his hordes of jiangshi servants is not quite the chocolate / peanut butter combination you would expect from a film that mixes Gothic horror with kung fu action.