Dark Ages Dating Advice

The Greatest Movie EVER!

Despite its over-enthusiastic ad copy, The Vikings is the Greatest Movie EVER!

This movie contains:

Yep, he's shaggy.

Ernest Borgnine.

A keen emphasis placed on the role of swords in Norse metaphysics.

(Pun intended.)

Kirk Douglas hesitates.

“You know, I don’t suppose I will kill you after all. I mean, standing here like this ready to strike the fatal blow,

I realize that you do resemble our late father rather strongly, and somehow it would just feel wrong to smite you

while you’re defenseless…”

Tony Curtis sees an opportunity.

“O RLY?”



This movie does not contain:

Giant Enemy Crabs.

Giant enemy crabs. đŸ˜¦


  1. Rape podcast? Surat say “Rape is hilarious as a theoretical concept.”

    Regarding the right of succession, didn’t The Chronicles of Riddick teach us that “You keep what you kill”. I live my life by those words!

  2. Charles Larson says:

    Huh. I’m surprised you didn’t shriek “ODEEEEEEEEEEEEEN” at the end of the podcast. You’ve shown admirable restraint…or a total lack of comic timing. You be the judge! (I did notice the theme song at the end tho.)

  3. Vikings are cooler than pirates. It’s official.

    In other news, Katherine is cooler than your other co-hosts.

  4. front-beat says:

    “In other news, Katherine is cooler than your other co-hosts”

    Not this shit again

  5. HaloJones-Fan says:

    All of the co-hosts are cool, just cool in their own special ways. That’s why I keep coming back to this podcast, it’s never the same thing twice…

  6. Ghost says:

    This really is the greatest movie ever. Jack Cardiff’s cinematography and Nascimbene’s score elevate it to entirely new levels of awesome. The only way it could be improved is if Loudness had indeed struck up over Einar’s funeral. Mankind simply wasn’t ready yet. It still isn’t.

  7. Keith says:

    I intend to die laughing maniacally while being forced by a wicked king to leap into a pit of wild dogs when I am armed with nothing but my giant battle ax.

    Seriously, any movie that makes you go, “Damn, Ernest Borgnine is a bad mutha…”

  8. danetveg says:

    “Ragnar died in England!”

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