Zeus is a Jerk.

The Greatest Worst Movie EVER!

Enlist the aid of the Greek pantheon, because

Clash of the Titans is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER!

This movie contains:

Way to cash a paycheck, Olivier.

MIND LASERS!

Something for the ladies.

Horrendous Eighties Hair.

BLEEP BLOOP BLORP

Horrifying Mechanical Abominations from the Stygian Pits of Gehenna.

DUR?

Misappropriated Norwegian Monsters.

A little Retin A will clear that right up.

Did I mention Horrendous Hair?

What’s COMING SOON?

COMING SOON!

@#$%ing False Advertising, That’s What!

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10 Responses

  1. OH… SNAP! OH… NO… YOU DIDN’T!!! Stop-motion rox the FAT ASS (see King Kong vs. Godzilla)!

    Are you going to review “Dragon Wars” after “the Host”?

  2. Don’t forget Sir. Larry as Zeus. This is a great movie.

  3. It would be rather nice if you tore into The Host. Not only were the ads misleading, but it was a bad movie overall.

  4. Ian,
    Like I said in the podcast, Its hard for me to forget Sir Larry as Zeus.

  5. I don’t care what you say, The Host was awesome.

  6. Is the Host anything like The Hidden? That would be a good one to review. 80’s sci-fi action is usually pretty solid.

  7. The problem with having Zeus bone your daughter is that you’re automatically involved in Fun God Games. You’re fair game for godly revenge and power plays. “Oh, Zeus turned my lover into an ice-cream cone, well I’ll get back at him by turning his most recent lover’s entire family into scented candles!”

  8. I remember a glorious year when I, as a kid, got to see both Clash of the Titans and raiders of the Lost Ark in one glorious drive-in double feature. Man that was awesome. I saw naked lady butt, melting Nazis, giant monsters, and a bald dude with a strongman mustache getting chopped up by an airplane propeller. I miss those days.

  9. Dragon Wars won’t be out on DVD until January 2008. But it’s certainly something that I think would be prime podcast material.

  10. OK, I have to step up with a little Bubo defense. Everyone likes to pick on him, but man, back when this was released and we were all ten, we loved Bubo. Everyone wanted Bubo to hang out with them. And the special effects didn’t stand out as unusual. Since most kids back then were raised on a mix of modern special effects at the theater and old special effects from movies replayed on TV, all we knew was that there was all sorts of cool stuff, and gooey ooze came out of Medusa’s neck stump, and so on. I have no idea what my opinion of this movie would be like if I was seeing it for the first time and didn’t already love Harryhausen effects. I’ll just say that i saw those new Star Wars films with their billion dollar effects, and I still think they look just as fake. Maybe more so.

    Also, Andromeda’s butt! Let us return to an era of non-CGI blood and nudity in PG movies.

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