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Hornswoggled!?!

The Worst Movie EVER!

Watch out for the naughty tentacles, because

The Host is the Worst Movie EVER!

This film contains:

Motiveless Villainy.

Dedicated Civil Servants Protecting the Public…kinda…

Idiots.

Oh yeah, there’s a Monster in here, somewhere.

CLOSING THOUGHT!

What watching this movie feels like:

TORTURE!

COMING SOON!

If only there were something that could wash

the awful taste of this pitiful excuse

for a Monster Movie out of my mouth…

COMING SOON!

OH WAIT, THERE IS!

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8 Responses

  1. WOOHOO!

    PS “naughty tentacles” FTW

  2. HE JOCK IT MADE OF STEEL

    EATS SUSHI FROM A PAIL

    JET JAGUAR ? JET JAGUAR !

    HE MOTHER NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM

    HE CRIMEFIGHTING COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY

    HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADDAMS APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA

    HE BASICLY GOOD-HEARTED BUT HE’D LIKE TO SMASH THAT KID AGAINST A ROCK

    KNOCK ! KNOCK ! KNOCK !

    WHO’S THERE ?

    HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON

    DON’T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT WILL STAY THAT WAY

  3. MEGALON!

  4. YES!!! Jet Jaguar is coming!!!! Life is good!! There is a God! Let us all do the dance of joy!!!

  5. Kraken, Han River Monster, and Megalon! Is this “the Big Month of Kaiju”?

  6. YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH!

  7. I hereby recommend the film The Wraith and Cyclone, as they both changed my life.

    The Wraith is mind meltingly awesome for obvious reasons, and Cyclone hits a lot of the same chords. Watching Cyclone on MGMHD, I can practically hear the Greatest Movie Ever review in my head, scene by scene. It’s eerie.

  8. I wasn’t bored at the least when the monster wasn’t on screen. In retrospect, the movie was a case of false advertising, but it wasn’t sleep inducing.

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