Watch out for the naughty tentacles, because
The Host is the Worst Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Motiveless Villainy.
Dedicated Civil Servants Protecting the Public…kinda…
Idiots.
Oh yeah, there’s a Monster in here, somewhere.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
What watching this movie feels like:
TORTURE!
COMING SOON!
If only there were something that could wash
the awful taste of this pitiful excuse
for a Monster Movie out of my mouth…
OH WAIT, THERE IS!
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 
WOOHOO!
PS “naughty tentacles” FTW
HE JOCK IT MADE OF STEEL
EATS SUSHI FROM A PAIL
JET JAGUAR ? JET JAGUAR !
HE MOTHER NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM
HE CRIMEFIGHTING COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY
HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADDAMS APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA
HE BASICLY GOOD-HEARTED BUT HE’D LIKE TO SMASH THAT KID AGAINST A ROCK
KNOCK ! KNOCK ! KNOCK !
WHO’S THERE ?
HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON
DON’T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT WILL STAY THAT WAY
MEGALON!
YES!!! Jet Jaguar is coming!!!! Life is good!! There is a God! Let us all do the dance of joy!!!
Kraken, Han River Monster, and Megalon! Is this “the Big Month of Kaiju”?
YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH!
I hereby recommend the film The Wraith and Cyclone, as they both changed my life.
The Wraith is mind meltingly awesome for obvious reasons, and Cyclone hits a lot of the same chords. Watching Cyclone on MGMHD, I can practically hear the Greatest Movie Ever review in my head, scene by scene. It’s eerie.
I wasn’t bored at the least when the monster wasn’t on screen. In retrospect, the movie was a case of false advertising, but it wasn’t sleep inducing.