Just Some More Yuletide Heresy.

Ordinarily I would be assaulting your senses with a Christmas themed horror movie, such as Santa’s Slay.

But this year, Netflix decided to come down with a terminal case of stupidity, and failed to ship me any of the films that I wanted.

So you’ll just have to make do with Legend instead.

Review in a Nutshell Legend is another one of those films that inspires a disproportionate level of fanaticism compared to its actual quality as a film.  Also, Tom Cruise in a Peter Pan outfit.

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11 Responses

  1. Hey Goober, hey Goober. You’ve talked about other 1980s fantasy movies before, and stuff you didn’t see when you were young. So would you consider podcasts about Willow, or perhaps Adventures in Babysitting? Or a podcast about smoked cheese? Nyo~ron~

  2. Very cool. Have a great 2009. Tom Cruise in tights…guess that will be the end of the world!

    Indie Genius Productions
    http://www.yourmommykillsanimals.blogspot.com

  3. Having just watched this movie recently, I have to say that I like the Theatrical cut of the movie more than the Directors cut.

    The Theatrical cut has more fantasy to it, and is more of a fairy tale. (did I just say the same thing twice?)

    and Mia Sara is a hottie in this film.

  4. Mia Sara is good looking in this movie. unfortunately she is also like 15/16 years old. Knowing that kinda makes the crush Satan has on her a bit creepy.

    The only problem I have with Tom Cruise’s look in this movie is that even after getting some armor he STILL wears short pants. Someone should told him that an armored chest plate is going to be useless if your opponent can simply just CUT OFF YOUR EXPOSED LEGS!!

    If you guys were looking for something to sign off on you could asked each other if your love was strong enough. (God that gets stuck in my head WAY too often.

  5. Hey, Paul, it’s LORENA Bobbit and JonBenet RAMSEY. Lorena Bobbit’s the woman who cut her husband’s penis off, and JonBenet Ramsey is the pre-teen beauty pagent contestant that got murdered in her home. Btw, Katherine: It’s always a good episode when you’re a co-host.

  6. Adventures in Babysitting and Willow are definite possibilities.

    Charles, I said “John Wayne Bobbit”. That’s the full name of the man who had his penis severed by his wife, Lorena. I never mentioned JonBenet Ramsey, although I could see how “John Wayne” could be mistaken for “JonBenet”.

  7. I apologize then. I did listen twice to the line, to make sure I heard it right, and it did sound like JonBenet to me. I apologize for calling you out on it, in this case.

  8. I think you are right where the film ranks in respect to other fantasy films of the 80s. Do you put The Princess Bride in the same category as The Neverending Story, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, and Legend? If so where does it rank? Maybe a topic for a future review. Please use Katherine if you review that film.

    I disagree with your interpretation of purity. Does mischievous behavior equal impure? I don’t think so. Stealing food and pulling clothes lines goes under mischief to me.

    I like the seduction of Lily since it takes Darkness to a new level of evil. Evil people are supposed to evil things. Evil people turning good people evil is a higher level of evil. The fact Lily is able to resist takes to her new level good. Then again I am a big fan Mia Sara so my objective may be in question.

    I think Harlan Ellison called Legend the beautiful failure. I think that is best description of the film.

    Is great to hear from Katherine again. Please come back soon!

  9. I’ve never seen Legend. Even as a D&D loving kid, the trailers looked off to me.

    Willow, ugh. I was willing to give a pass on Howard the Duck, but Willow was the first real sign (and what a huge red flag it is) that George Lucas had lost it.

    And I noticed that no one has mentioned Ladyhawk yet, which is (despite Matthew Brodrick’s best efforts) one of the greatest fantasy films ever.

  10. But…but Willow marks the beginning of Lucas’ long and fruitful relationship with Warwick Davis! Without that movie, we wouldn’t have had golden moments like Warwick Davis as a guy in the background in Phantom Menace, or Warwick Davis as a little Greedo guy. The world would be an emptier place as a result, and it’s all thanks to a little movie that dared to say of Val Kilmer, “You AHH great!”

    As for Legend, I can’t get behind it. Evil always seems one step away from whipping out a book of poetry and reading it to me. I bet he signs his name “evil” with a lowercase “e” to show he is sensitive. If you are the lord of evil, you should at least be more evil than the evil humans who have lived. Hey, are you the lord of darkness, or are you one of those sparkly rainbow vampires from Twilight? Suck it up, pal, and get your crap together. If you can be whupped by Tom Cruise in hotpants accompanied by a comical troll-dwarf, a little kid with elf ears, and a weird pixie girl, then maybe we should give your position to someone who will really make good on it. I suggest Danzig, or possibly Prince.

    Conan the Barbarian would have taken care of this joker in no time flat. But then, Conan the Barbarian is pretty much the greatest movie ever.

  11. Yay! Katherine’s back! Now’s the perfect time to profess my undying affection for her; the goddess of filmic podcastery.

    …So, there. Affection. Goddess. Podcastery.

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