Emergency Podcast System: Prometheus

We interrupt our regularly scheduled podcast to bring you this special announcement:  Prometheus is terrible.

Click on the movie poster or title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest hosts Ian Strope of the Futile Podcast and Rachel Pandich, author of indie comic book Aspire.

Review in a Nutshell:  Although undeniably beautiful in terms of cinematography and production design, Prometheus suffers from a poor script with writing that disintegrates into a flaming wreck by the movie’s conclusion.  Some people claim the film posses too many unanswered questions.  I claim the opposite: the film answers too many questions, and the answers it gives are dumb.

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Michael Douglas Ruins Japan

Strap on your motorcycle helmets, because Black Rain is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring special guest host Jeremy from Destroy All Podcasts-DX.

Review in a Nutshell:  Ostensibly a police thriller, Black Rain is more of an excuse for Michael Douglas and Ridley Scott to stomp through the Land of the Rising Sun with enormous, hob-nailed boots.  As a cinematic artifact from the Eighties representing American cultural anxiety, it’s hard to beat this surprisingly crazy film.

This movie contains:

Michael Douglass, Puffy Avenger.

Hand Trauma.

Impromptu Karaoke.

Just Some More Yuletide Heresy.

Ordinarily I would be assaulting your senses with a Christmas themed horror movie, such as Santa’s Slay.

But this year, Netflix decided to come down with a terminal case of stupidity, and failed to ship me any of the films that I wanted.

So you’ll just have to make do with Legend instead.

Review in a Nutshell Legend is another one of those films that inspires a disproportionate level of fanaticism compared to its actual quality as a film.  Also, Tom Cruise in a Peter Pan outfit.

Big Month of Dick – Blade Runner

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Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about your mother,

because Blade Runner is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nut-shell: Visually visionary but emotionally distant, Blade Runner is a revolutionary piece of  science fiction and its impact on world of film is still felt to this day.

This movie contains:

Harrison Ford, Master of Facial Expressions.

HURRAY FOR UNICORNS!

RealDolls.

Tears in the Rain.