The Quest for One-Eyed Willy

Break out the pirate maps to buried treasure, because The Goonies is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin(e) the Great.

Review in a Nutshell:  A formative film experience from the Eighties, The Goonies holds up well as an adventure movie that is fun for children of all ages, even if you can see some rough patches with the eyes of an adult.

This movie contains:

Truffle Shuffle.

Ghost Pirates.

Cold-blooded Murder.

Katherin(e)’s Favorite Person in the Whole Wide World.


  1. Hey, welcome back, Katherine!

    Are you a lawyer yet?

    Have you sued your big brother for the pain and suffering of having to live with him for eighteen years yet? >:)

  2. Eduardo M. says:

    This is ironic. the last song I listened to on my iPod was the Goonies theme.

  3. Tim Eldred says:

    In addition to the deleted groping octopus, there was also a deleted break-dancing octopus. I know this because I used to read Starlog Magazine in the 80s and their Goonies coverage included a mention of it. I think this was before the movie came out. Data was carrying a Walkman with him (cutting edge technology at the time) and he got rid of the Octopus by putting it on him (God knows how) and cranking the volume. The Octopus puppet was supposed to start break-dancing and went spinning away. I’m going to guess the song you talked about would have been used in that scene.

    Aren’t you glad that (A) you don’t remember some of the things I remember and (B) that scene didn’t make it? For some it probably would have been the tipping point.

  4. antho42 says:

    I was born in 1989. Without the nostalgia sentiment, I found it to be a shitty film.

  5. Tim says:

    It’s about time. This is truely THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER! Good to hear from you again Katherine.

  6. aninimouse says:

    The first ten seconds were weird with Paul telling Katherin ” you’re looking fine” you don’t tell that to your sister mister Chapman.

    Anyway it’s always fun when Katherin is on the show, and yes it’s very scary that im 21 even though i still feel like im 16, im not looking forward to paying taxes.

    Steven Speilberg is indeed a dirty man.

  7. gooberzilla says:

    Apparently, the rest of the world reads a connotation into the phrase “looking fine” that I do not. Note to self: Never pay anyone a compliment, ever.

  8. TalonG4 says:

    I never got the “one-eyed willie” joke until this podcast. I can’t believe that, especially considering I love this movie and I have an immature sense of humor.

  9. If you quibble with Data (AKA “How could you not know this is Short Round?”) not getting all sorts of hurt when he saved himself with fake teeth, then you put superheroes like Superman out of business. How can you save a falling damsel in distress when natural laws forbid it?

    I really wanted to believe Katherine, but alas, she was wrong. It was a world record for going off on a tangent, and she did not say the name of the movie until you prompted her to.

  10. gooberzilla says:

    Actually, she did say the movie title at the beginning. She does it right before the whole thing about Dead Swamp and the zombie frogs. I was wrong, and I admit it.

  11. kimchiagogo says:

    great podcast as always, there were a few times that i actually laughed out loud. I think this is a very interesting film that if done today would be pasteurized in the name of political correctness to the point that it would be terrible. Great to hear you and Katherine the great on the show, you have very good on-air chemistry.

  12. mctron says:

    is she a lawyer yet come on we want to know also do a hulk podcast any of the hulk movies or the tv show or reveiw the incrediable megaman fan flick its free to watch and ooh its bad.

  13. You mean the Mega Man fan film with the Asian guy as Mega Man? The effects and graphics are definitely bad, but what budget did they have? I thought the performances were, eh, not great as an average, but they got a great Wily and Dr. Light was OK.

    If they had an actual budget, they could have done better, but I don’t think it was downright awful.

  14. mctron says:

    Is kat a lawyer and also can you do the hulk or maybe the megaman fan flick

  15. Eduardo M. says:

    which Hulk movie? the Ang Lee endurance test or the ed norton version?

  16. I think the Ang Lee version is a much better subject for review than Incredible Hulk, because whether you like it or not, Ang Lee’s version has a lot more to chew on than the Norton version.

    I say review them both, though. Hey, there’s no rule saying you can’t! Paul can even review the Hulk TV movie on The Greatest Gaiden Ever (or whatever name he comes up with for his non movie episodes)

  17. Katherin makes my heart fly out yonder window at her return! But enough of the mush, you guys should like The Goonies more! You couldn’t bring yourself to talk about the Spill Yer Guts scene!?! Or the I Can Describe all Three of Them bit? For shame!

    Also, my mother who is ever watchful against Paul now trains her eye on Katherin! Actually, she feels the same way about Sloth. So I guess she likes Katherin, but still wants to box your ears, Paul. Oh, well.

    Seriously, you guys didn’t talk of the Cyndi Lauper music video that the whole gang (minus Andi) are in? Or that Rowdy Roddy Piper, André the Giant, Captain Lou Albano and The Iron Sheik are in the video? Also some guy named Steven Spielberg turns up but he’s not important.

    What about the fact that the blu ray gift set comes with a reproduction of THE MAP!!!?

    Arghh! I even did a whole podcast about it myself! NNNOOOOO!

    But on the plus side, anybody who talks about The Goonies is ok in my book. And you guys didn’t like Troy, which is great! I hated that preppy edjit when I was growing up long before AC Slater taught me how to deal with them. I would liked to have heard what you thought of the Fratelli’s, you guys. But thanks for making this part time 80’s wreck happy for the afternoon. Thanks, Paul and Katherin. You guys are the best

    Notice how I’ve been saying “you guys” a lot? ZIng!

  18. Eduardo M. says:

    I like the music video, especially the Spielberg cameo. I also find the theme song catchy in an 80s sort of way

  19. Chris Mishima says:

    I totally didn’t get the one-eyed willy thing either. One scene that you guys didn’t mention that flew way over my head as a kid was the statue of David scene. They break the penis off the statue and the kid mentions that it’s his mom’s favorite part. Totally didn’t understand that when I was little. Also, while I know the comments aren’t the place to beg but I’d like to see and Tekken live action movie review. My Mishima blood cries out for one.

    On a final note I’d like to thank you for putting out these shows. You seem to constantly keep releasing new episodes. I don’t think any of the podcasts that I listen too that have been around for a long time still release episodes and frequently as you do (or if they do they sound half asleep). Keep up the good work.

  20. Young Freud says:

    The girl with glasses is Martha Plimpton. She’s been a lot of stuff after the Goonies, with her most recent work is as the mother to Jimmy on the TV comedy “Raising Hope”.

    I had a crush on her, too.

  21. Edmund says:

    I’m sorry Eeper, I like your podcast a lot, but I thought Troy was pretty bad. They made Hector and his bro look like total punks. plus with no gods making a appearance I was really let down.

    What’s up Eduardo, I vote for Ang Lee’s Hulk, I actually liked it a lot. I really liked how the Hulk got bigger in that movie to show that the angrier Hulk gets the stronger he gets. That’s something the Ed Norton Hulk was really missing. That and Sam Elliot. Which one did you like better Eduardo?

    Being a child of the eighties, I grew up on this flick. I thank the kiss between Andi and Mikey as well as Leah Thompson kissing Howard the Duck and her son in Back to the Future for all the perversions I enjoy today.

    I’d like to take a minute to give a shot out to Kerri Green, Leah Thompson, Cheryl Pollak, Jami Gertz and Rae Dawn Chong, I love you all.

  22. Firest says:

    Great podcast, and great to hear from Catherine again.

    Goonies isn’t actually my favorite 80’s film. I don’t think it’s bad, I’m glad I saw it during the 80’s and the few times I’ve channel surfed past it since I’ve felt it’s aged very well, but I’ve never really felt any real motivation to watch the entire thing again.

    And your comparison of Micky to Nick Cage’s character in National Treasure seems particularly prescient given this recent Cracked article suggesting that National Treasure is secretly a sequel to Goonies.

  23. Katherin the Great says:

    Hey all,

    Glad you enjoyed the podcast … it’s definitely good to be back!

    Timothy and Mctron: I’m not sure if I’m a real lawyer yet. I passed the bar exam and clerked for a judge for a year, but I don’t start working at the law firm for another 2 weeks. So, long story short, I guess I’m a lawyer … kind of.

    K L J: I totally said “The Goonies” before Paul berated me for not saying it. Plus, my podcasting style is to ramble on and on and assume that Paul will edit it out. So yes, world-record tangent (pat on the back to me), but I blame Paul as I do for everything wrong in this world 🙂

    Phillip: Glad your mom is still on my side. Before I leave, I’ll be sure to box Paul’s ears for her!

  24. Katherin – if you passed the bar in your state, you’re a lawyer. Maybe an untrained one, but you can legally practice law in Florida (assuming that’s where you passed the bar in, since your family lives there).

    As for the Hulk conversation going on – I’m with those who say “Do all of them”. None of the versions are remotely definitive – the closest is the television series, of all things, which created its own television-scaled HULK universe!

  25. @VichusSmith says:

    Ehmm, no Paul was right (don’t make me make a t-shirt!) It’s only documented in audio format for the whole Internet to hear.

    I know you’re a hotshot big time DA now, but I’m going to make a case for client!

  26. @VichusSmith says:

    So what you’re telling me is that Nick Nolte isn’t The Absorbing Man AND a real dick of a father?

  27. Chris Sobieniak says:

    Some of those deleted scenes showed up in airings on The Disney Channel I remember (just dug out a tape of that recently) including the octopus thing.

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