Whale Song, Monkey Trouble, and Literal Dawg Attacks

Shiver me timbers, but Cutthroat Island is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring long-awaited return of Katherin the Great.

Review in a Nutshell: A big-budget pirate adventure that torpedoed an entire movie studio, Cuttroat Island hasn’t aged very well due to its thin script and questionable casting choices, but a scene-chewing performance by Frank Langella as the villainous pirate Dawg helps a bit.

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“Looky, looky, I’ve got Hookie.”

Think of a happy thought, because Hook is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin(e) the Great.

Review in a Nutshell:  A lavisciouly produced but fundamentally misguided fantasy film, Hook has its ups and downs.  What’s up with that burping crocodile, Steven Spielberg?

This movie contains:

Scurvy Pirates.

Captain James T. Hook.

The Boo Box.

Rufio.  (Never forget!)

The Quest for One-Eyed Willy

Break out the pirate maps to buried treasure, because The Goonies is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin(e) the Great.

Review in a Nutshell:  A formative film experience from the Eighties, The Goonies holds up well as an adventure movie that is fun for children of all ages, even if you can see some rough patches with the eyes of an adult.

This movie contains:

Truffle Shuffle.

Ghost Pirates.

Cold-blooded Murder.

Katherin(e)’s Favorite Person in the Whole Wide World.

Bloodsport, ReDux?

Watch out for pirates, gangsters, and Tibetan monks, because The Quest is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Essentially Bloodsport retold in the 1920s, The Quest is Jean-Claude Van Damme’s directorial debut.  It’s a fun but flawed film which includes Roger Moore, elephants, and boatloads of inadvertent homoerotic subtext.