AOL Conquers Mars.

DOOM is the Greatest Movie EVER. No, really. I’m serious. Stop laughing.


1 Minute, 34 Seconds In:

Karl Urban. He’s angsty and complicated, ladies.


14 Minutes, 11 Seconds In:

The tragedy of TPTBS (Too Pretty To Be a Scientist) Syndrome.


23 Minutes, 29 Seconds In:

Forget Chekhov’s gun. This movie has Chekhov’s BFG.


Final Thought:

“Hey! I am the star of this picture!”


  1. Mozesh says:

    Doom the movie was so bad it was totally awesome. It almost felt like they made the whole movie just to put the 1st-personview scene in it. I will definately download this one. Will listen soon!

  2. Niku says:

    While I kinda liked the superpowered fight scene at the end of the movie, I think my big disappointment is in how they didn’t capitalize both on another aspect of the games AND The Rock’s special horrible looking half Rock / half CGI creature technique from the second Mummy flick. Just think of it. The Rock wanders around with BFG in one hand, shotgun in the other. The Rock get injected with monster juice. The Rock turns into BFG/Shotgun armed CYBERDEMON. I was so sad when that didn’t happen. 😦

  3. Mathaeis says:

    I was so torn on this film. I saw it opening night with a ton of friends, and later by some good or terrible decision bought the DVD. So much was done right. The set design was right out of Doom 3 for the most part. The monsters (the few that there were) were high quality. The marines were there, the UAC, Mars, the BFG, etc. But then there were things that took away from that. The BFG never got to shoot anything. Plot points like ‘where did Reaper’s sister go after he got injected with C24?’ come to mind. And the biggest disappointment of all: there were no demons.

    As you said, Doom is about a portal to Hell on Mars, with demons coming out and a marine killing them. These were NOT demons. These were ‘evil’ mutants. This was Resident Evil in space, as far as I was concerned.

    I do admit though, what you said about movie-science makes sense. The over-explanation of what the demons were made them no longer demons, but something more classifiable, and therefore, less like the original story. Even with that in mind, however, I find it very difficult to imagine what sort of process led to the Doom movie being made sans demons. What do the people at id think? What do the film makers themselves say when confronted with that issue. That is what I want to know.

  4. Gooberzilla says:

    Even with that in mind, however, I find it very difficult to imagine what sort of process led to the Doom movie being made sans demons.

    I imagine that the demons were changed to more audience-friendly “evil mutants” because the film-makers balked at the idea of possibly offending film-going Christians. I find this ironic, though, because of the presence of Goat, the semi-psychotic uber-fundamentalist character who routinely carves crosses into his forearms.

    So…Christians might be offended by the presence of Satan’s legions, but not by the presence of a character that clearly gives their faith a black eye? Where’s the logic in that one?

    As for Niku’s comment about the Cyberdemon, and mathaeis’s apt description of Doom as “Resident Evil in space”, the more I think about it, the more I see the visual similarities between Doom and the Resident Evil movies. I bet they left out the Cyberdemon because they didn’t want people to think that they were copying Nemesis from Apocalypse.

  5. Jeff Tatarek says:

    Fundie Christians offended by demons in movies I can probably understand.

    But being offended by demons getting their hellish keesters kicked around Mars? That is to say, evil gets defeated? Preposterous.

  6. Gooberzilla says:

    Yeah, Jeff, but unless it’s Jesus wielding the chain-gun, it’s considered blasphemy, I guess…

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