snakes…Snakes…SNAAAAAAAKES!!!

 

Anaconda is the Greatest Movie EVER (involving a Giant Snake).

 

0 Minutes, 36 Seconds In ~ 5 Minutes, 23 Seconds In:

It’s mail-call, yo.

 

8 Minutes, 0 Seconds In:

J-Lo. She’s TPBSM. (Too Pretty to Be a Scientist.)

 

9 Minutes, 0 Seconds In:

Jon Voight, the Star of this Picture?

 

11 Minutes, 25 Seconds In:

“I am sooooooooo relaxed.”

 

13 Minutes, 28 Seconds In:

The REAL Star of this Picture.

 

15 Minutes, 52 Seconds In:

Ice Cube is the Baddest Man on the Planet.

 

COMING SOON!

`Nuff said.

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9 Responses

  1. I hope that’s the good Mortal Kombat.

  2. Some day, you will be reviewing my own DTV movie, Cobra-Shark vs. Croco-Lion. As soon as the Sci-Fi Channel gives me funding, I’m telling you will be the greatest snake-shark-crocodile-lion movie ever.

  3. Wait… There’s a good Mortal Kombat?

    PS: Thanks for reading my e-mail.

  4. Tell me you took that Ice Cube screen cap from Ghosts of Mars, or does he wield a chromed pistol in EVERY MOVIE HE’S IN?!

  5. You know you scared the crap out of me with the… SNAAAKKKKEEEESSS!!!!

  6. Keith, if such a film existed as Cobra-Shark vs. Croco-Lion, I can guarantee that I would own two copies. One for me, one for my Doppelganger.

    As for the “good” Mortal Kombat, isn’t all Mortal Kombat “good” Mortal Kombat, in some sense? Wait, don’t answer that question.

    Yes, Dave, that screen-cap is actually from Ghosts of Mars. I was waiting for someone to notice that. You get kudo points for pointing that out first; I was so sure that Daryl would comment on that, since he too is in love with Ice Cube and his chromed machine pistols, but you beat him to the punch.

    I suspect Ice Cube had a chromed pistol in Anaconda, but he kept it stowed with his luggage, since he didn’t need it to take on two 60-foot, man-eating snakes…

  7. Ice Cube never actually needs a gun. He can kick anyone and anything’s butt simply by sneering at it. He uses the guns to make us feel better about ourselves.

  8. I would be remiss in my duties as an anime fandom old fogey if I did not provide a link to Corn Pone Flicks’ B.O.A., which has a better tagline than anything Anaconda could squeeze out.

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2206107033611635343&q=corn+pone+flicks&hl=en

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