The Most Dangerous Month – The Condemned

The 'Greatest' Movie EVER!
Don’t touch that high-speed Internet connection to the streaming death show,
because The Condemned is the ‘Greatest’ Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Blonde Eye Candy.
Stunning!
Interior Decorators.
Blimey!  He's crazy!
Crazy Asian Guys.
Grrr.  Argh.
Vinnie “Evil McEvilstein” Jones.
COMING SOON!
COMING SOON!
Hunt You Like an Animal: The Most Dangerous Month
continues with perhaps the worst canoe-camping trip EVER…
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8 Responses

  1. Rambo is MINE, you hear me? MINE!

    Also, I hereby officially state my skepticism regarding the appropriateness of the next episode’s movie in the theme for the month. They’re certainly playing a dangerous game. But the MOST dangerous game? I think not.

    Nathan Jones–who incidentally is a bona fide ex-convict–was not only an absolutely horrible wrestler, he also lived in Orlando and drove around in a Hummer. He only ever had a job in WWE because he’s a big scary-looking guy, but I have to confess that his cameo appearances in films such as Police Story 4, Tom Yum Goong, and Fearless (SHUT YER STINKIN’ MOUTH PAUL, FEARLESS IS A REALLY REALLY GOOD MOVIE, NOW GO WATCH THE DIRECTOR’S CUT) have been entertaining ones. Maybe he’s just better suited to following strictly rehearsed choreography than calling the shots.

    You know who else is better suited to that? Richard Norton, who did the fight choreography for The Condemned. He along with Cynthia Rothrock were awesome in their Hong Kong films, but I’m not super blown away by the fights that he puts together himself. Still, Gymkata is undeniably the Greatest Movie EVER!, even though it’s not on the same level as The Marine.

    Let’s do a podcast about The Marine.

  2. I don’t understand your objections to Deliverance as part of the Most Dangerous Month. It’s got all the requisite elements: people hunting other people for sport, or necessity when the tables are turned. Luis even calls it a game in the movie. Seems appropriate.

    I remember when Nathan Jones was in the WWE. He was as green as an emerald dragon’s sneeze. I do think he works better in a pre-choreographed environment, and I think using him in roles as a big heavy goon suits his talents just fine.

    Fearless is still boring, though. Forty additional minutes of Michelle Yeoh isn’t going to change that. I have yet to see a movie that is improved by her presence. She’s in the same league as Devon Aoki, in my mind.

  3. The Condemned is one I actually enjoyed more that I thought I would. I’m looking forward to listening to this review.

  4. Since he’s an “interior decorator”, you think Stone Cold’s character can recommend where’s the best place I can get new shades for my bedroom window?

    I have to admit, this theme month is making me hear “Hungry Like a Wolf in my head every time I hear a new podcast.

  5. I have nothing more to add regarding The Condemned other than it lost a ton of money for WWE Films, so they determined that the only clear solution was to make another movie that’s exactly like The Marine, only straight to DVD and with Renny Harlin directing it. I for one cannot wait.

    Still, if all it takes to be MOST DANGEROUS is people being hunted, then why doesn’t every single horror movie qualify, HUH?! No, it’s got to be more than just “hunting people for sport.” If you ask me–and you totally did SUBCONSCIOUSLY–the main thing that’s missing from Deliverance that’s present in all the others covered thus far is the pursuit of a monetary profit (cash, ratings, etc) on the part of those organizing the festivities. Greed has to factor in somehow.

    To be fair, Michelle Yeoh probably has not carried a movie in the last like, 15 years. Well, other than Silver Hawk, which is perhaps the Greatest Movie EVER! But to equate her with Devon Aoki is simply going too far. Michelle Yeoh movies from the mid-80s to mid-90s or so were 100% certified “the jam.” The only thing you could attribute as the jam regarding Devon Aoki would be like, an extra 21st chromosome jammed in with the others. And that’s not even 100% certified, it’s just my personal conjecture based upon looking at her face and that one scene in War where she had to talk a lot. You know the one.

    In any case, between the In the Line of Duty / Yes Madam movies (oh hey, more awesome things involving Cynthia Rothrock!) and the colossal insanity of films such as The Heroic Trio, Executioners, Comet Butterfly and Sword, and perhaps the craziest of all Wonder Seven (was this a Hong Kong version of the INCREDIBLY POWERFUL manga Wild Seven?), Michelle Yeoh has definitely been a source of awesomeness. And those aren’t even movies where she co-starred with Jackie Chan or Jet Li, since if I said “well, what about Police Story 3 or Tai Chi Master,” one could theoretically say “yeah, but that was all Jackie Chan and Jet Li.”

    Destroy All Cohosts DX just did an episode on Wing Chun (a movie I do indeed own), and since White Tony didn’t like it, that probably means it’s a good movie.

  6. I never thought I’d ever hear the names Richard Norton and Cynthia Rothrock again. Daryl, your references to Hong Kong fight cinema is completely esoteric to regular movie fans. Jeez… I’m surprised that you didn’t mention Benny ‘The Jet’ Urquidez, Angela Mao, or Gordon Liu.

    Anyway, Paul wouldn’t know the great fight choreography of Richard Norton and Cynthia Rothrock. They did their best work with the Three Brothers (Sammo, Jackie Chan, & Yuen Biao), and Paul doesn’t like Jackie Chan’s movies for some reason. My favorite Norton/Rothrock fight scenes are from “Twinkle, Twinkle Lucky Stars” and “Shanghai Express”.

    As for Deliverance, “I’m gonna make you squeal like a pig. Weeeeeeee!”

  7. hey i really liked the movie more than i thought i would. i had gone for the movie just because of one reason being Stone Cold Steve Austin. but i must say it turned out to be an awesome movie and a complete entertainer. i really liked the way Austin has done his stunts and acts and thanks t Richard Norton, he has done full justice to it. even Scott Wiper has done an amazing job with the direction of the movie. hey its a must watch movie and i am sure everyone will like and enjoy it alot especially if you are a wrestling and a movie freak.

  8. i love stone cold in that movie he was so hot!!!!!!!!!

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