“@#$% You, Chelios!”

Signaling the triumphant return of the Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast to uploading new content, we kick off the migration to the new hosting service with three movie reviews for the price of none!

Click here or click the picture above to download a podcast that examines Crank, Crank 2: High Voltage, and Gamer.

WARNING:  This podcast contains dangerous levels of bleeped-out words and Daryl Surat.

Reviews in a Nutshell:  Jason Statham drives a car and kills people.  Gerard Butler does, too.

Click here if you wish to see the image that encapsulates the entirety of the Crank mythos. 

This image is spoiler-iffic and not very polite.  Viewer discretion is advised.

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17 Responses

  1. have lisen to the podcast yet. but I glad to see you have new ones out.

  2. I am so happy to see the spoiled picture- I cheered in an empty cinema when that happened.
    Podcast currently downloading, can’t wait to hear the segment on Gamer as it lasted all of 2 days in my local cinema while I was on holiday and so never got the chance to see it.

  3. Good to have you back, Goob.

  4. Glad to see you’re back!

    I actually just watched Gamer last night…what a bizarre movie.

  5. I was delighted to see that the podcast album art is a parody of the “Megaforce” poster. That’s a great movie too; it’s not out on DVD, sadly, but I think you’d find it up your alley. Great to have you back!

  6. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Mark Wilson, Daryl Surat. Daryl Surat said: The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast talks Crank, Crank 2: High Voltage, and Gamer with me! (I kinda sucked on this one): http://bit.ly/5VQ567 […]

  7. Glad to have you back Goob.

  8. Nice. The title of this podcast is actually what my brother opted to name his fantasy football team. Incidentally, he considers Crank 2: High Voltage to be the perfect action movie.

  9. The Gooberzilla has returned!

    To be fair, I liked Crank and Crank 2. They were hilarious and insane, and more enjoyably warped than most films with Jayee-sohm Stayee-thamm can even manage.

    Gamer, however, I found to be incredibly dull and stupid, and a waste of an interesting premise. The shaky-cam shooting and washed out textures made everything hard to follow (surprisingly less of a problem in the Cranks), the story was full of clichés, and the idea of people being controlled by internet geeks was used for a limp “you need to unplug, man!” moral at the end. And Gerard Butler is not even half the leading man Jaye-sohn Stayee-thamm is.

    Gamer was, in my mind, a flaking from the alabaster of Neveldine/Taylor’s greatness.

  10. HAZZAH! The return of the Almighty Gooberzillais an almighty one indeed! Thanks a ton for the triple feature Paul and Daryl both, and I cannot wait to get Crank 1 & 2 on Blu-ray for Christmas…

  11. Crank 2 and Gamer are both terrible movies. You guys didn’t mention how the stupid had been amped up considerably from Crank 1 to Crank 2. The first movie took itself somewhat seriously and had a lot of crazy action. The sequal was just one over the top thing after the next with 20+ ball jokes tossed in. I hadn’t been that let down by a sequal since 28 Weeks Later.

    I just got through watched Gamer a few hours after listening to the podcast. Ugh. Someone needs to let these directors know that there is no need to toss half naked women into every scene. That was awesome when I was 13 but there is porn on the internet now.

  12. I find it interesting that the criticisms Robert Kelly levels at Gamer only really apply when you judge the movie as something that attempts to be serious. If Gamer had been more like the Crank films, these criticisms would carry less weight.

    Chris, you’re mistaken. I specifically said Crank 2 is dumber than the original Crank. And I couldn’t disagree more about the necessity of half-naked women. Hollywood as a whole has grown squeamish of nudity, and the human body should not be viewed as an implement of shame, guilt, and fear. Yes, nudity can be exploitative, but the more taboo it becomes, the more repressed we become as a society.

  13. “Crank 2” was a so stupid, it was brilliant. Why would anyone take this movie for anything other than a wild romp into Saturday afternoon trash cinema on crack (or crank)? It had a kaiju fight scene, a robot head in a fish tank, NES-style graphics, cursing children, a bionic heart, and a horse penis. Not that any ONE of these items are necessary for cinematic awesomeness (well, every great film should have some kaiju element), but the daring combination was such an antidote to the crap that Hollywood normally vomits for our consumption. As a fan of wild cinema, I feel this trumped the original and created such a high benchmark for trash cinema. Bravo, Gooberzilla, for recognizing the Crank awesomeness…I secretly hoped you;d review it, and this only confirms the belief I have that you and I share a brain.

  14. I thought Daryl was going to have a douchegasm towards the end of this show. If you like shitty movies like Gamer, fine, but don’t build up a head of pissy steam simply because other people don’t.

  15. I’m glad your back!

  16. I like this review. I find the total lack of political correctness to be refreshing, and not because I’m some kind of xenophobe or anything like that.

    I often think that we’re becoming humorless society that refuses to laugh at itself anymore. We’re too concerned about offending each other and, even worse, trying to find new and creative ways to be offended by things we see. Every demographic has some beef with the industry, and it feels good to have a movie come along every so often that basically tells them to shut the hell up.

    There needs to be at least one Crank-like film per year.

    By the way, you guys should just start arbitrarily bleeping words, so that it sounds like you’re being foul-mouthed, even when you aren’t. Isn’t it ironic that censorship actually makes people think that you’re saying something worse than what you’re actually saying?

  17. Great show to come back with. Interesting comments Daryl makes re: Crank movies versus Troma. I’d consider myself a qualified Troma fan, but most of what I like about those movies is often in spite of the blatant idiocy. And, while I don’t think the Crank films are completely innocent of this, I did appreciate that it was absent from large parts, and more muted when it was there. No Diaper Mafia to be found here… Knowing how deliberate these moves are on Lloyd Kaufman’s part, I wonder if this makes the Crank movies more or less successful as confrontational works of art than, say, Citizen Toxie or Tromeo & Juliet. It certainly makes them easier to watch.

    As a last note, I always think special mention is due the soundtrack when discussing Crank 2. Awesome stuff from (Musical Genius!) Mike Patton that evokes some of his other work with Fantomas.

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