Ax Dancing, Sexy Robots, Rambo, Red Sonja?

Remember to eat your fruit and vegetables, because Cobra is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest host Daryl Surat of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  There are some movies that define an era, embedding themselves in the fabric of popular media and influencing later films for decades to come.  And there are films like Cobra, which encapsulate the craziest elements of an entire period in film and then are promptly, tragically forgotten.

This movie contains:

Killer Nerds?

Practical Solutions in Cutlery.

Fast Food Atrocities.

Sexy Robots?

FINAL THOUGHT:

Behold, the infamous music video montage!

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29 Responses

  1. Dear Princess Celestia, today we learned that crime is a disease, and that Cobra is the cure. He is from the 80s, which makes him twenty percent cooler. We also learned to love and tolerate the sh– out of Daryl Surat. Your faithful student (and fellow brony), Dork at Large.

  2. My Little Cobras

  3. Okay more mom on the podcast and I would love to see a hulk double feature were you review any two Incredable hulk movies of your chosing.

  4. Boy Howdy, was this movie hard for me! I kind of enjoyed George P. Cosmatos’s direction for the stylish touches he added – but Stallone trying to be The Next Clint Eastwood, and take a few laughably obvious swipes at Scharzenegger’s then-greater popularity while he was at it? ::facepalm!::

  5. If you haven’t seen it, Death Wish 3 is amazing fun. It’s like Hardboiled, but not quite. Not even close actually, but still chees-tastic fun. Who wouldn’t wanna watch Tango and Cash? Cash and Tango, Tango and Cash.

  6. This was a staple of “stay up late and watch crap on cable” when I was in high school. I remember being mildly offended at the lack of Brigitte Neilson nudity. Ax dancing and cutting pizza with scissors made up for it though.

  7. Am I the only one who doesn’t find her at all attractive?

  8. I am in that club Captain

  9. Proving that even the best people make mistakes, I assume Daryl was attempting a Rock of Love joke. The Great Giantess, Brigitte Nielsen was not on Rock of Love. She was on The Surreal Life.

    Also, Paul, what’s a “crawnie?”

    I really love Cobra. It’s ridiculous superviolence I think any fan of action flicks can like. I think they should throw all sense to the wind and have a Cobra sequel. It will take place in current times, with Cobretti still blowing away scum.

  10. vichus, I’m really getting sick of you pointing out whenever I mispronounce a word. It’s like you’re listening to an hour of edited recording specifically to bust my chops when I make a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes when speaking extemporaneously. You pointing it out stopped being amusing about six posts ago. Let it go, man.

  11. I love this movie. Also if I remember correctly they used to use the term zombie squad to refer to detectives that invistageted old case files. Their commonly known as cold case detectives now.

  12. Funny, when Daryl was trying that “Rock of Love” joke, I thought he was trying to make a joke about Problem Child 2…

  13. Looking at the screencap of the fries is giving me a craving for onion rings.

  14. The events of Cobra appear happen near the Christmas holiday. A fact that was not mentioned ever in the film. Does the director’s commentary explain the reason why?

  15. But if I don’t point it out, who will?

    Ah, what can I say. my pointing out faults is one of my many faults. If it makes you feel any better, I have listened to several podcasts where no odd pronunciations came to mind.

  16. This podcast brought to mind the title track of Ice-T’s 1988 “Power,” the year after their breakup–“You gotta have control if you want the gold/I don’t want to be alone like Stallone.”

  17. When you say Deadly Prey, i’m asuming you mean this masterpiece?

  18. Great podcast Gooberzilla. Though I was surprised by the revelation that you’re finding it difficult to get someone to comment on Tango & Cash with you!

    Just what is it about this movie that everyone hates so much? I’m not claiming that it’s high art, but I’ve never understood the level of animosity directed at one of the best parodies of the 80’s buddy/action movie ever filmed.

  19. I think that if Paul wants someone to do Tango & Cash with him, he should offer them a carrot of a more desirable film with the promise that they’ll also do T&C

  20. I don’t think Goob is in the habit of offering carrots. Remember, we’re talking about the same Goob who is constantly torturing his siblings and MOM with bad movies.

  21. TANGO & CASH is a really fun, enjoyable “buddy cop” movie with a hilarious star-making (in a just universe) Kurt Russell performance, an early career high for Teri Hatcher and one of Jack Palances’s hysterically overwrought villain perf.

    Unfortunately, it also has a lump of indigestible gristle in the center of it named “Sylvester Stallone”.

  22. Greatest Movie Ever has been home to way way crappier movies than Tango & Cash.

  23. Yes, vichus (sp?) – but those terrible movies are *incredibly* terrible, in that “This totally sucks – and I can’t stop watching it!” kind of way.

    T&C has almost everything a really fun action movie needs – except it tries to make Stallone a tongue-in-cheek action star, and his ego shoves Kurt Russell (who fits that definition perfectly!) to the sidelines. I guess maybe *that* is how TGMEp can review it – except I doubt most fans see Stallone the way I do….

  24. I think Dave and Joel would be all over T&C (I hope)

  25. I’m surprised you didn’t notice that the Slasher knife was used in the GITS:SAC episode “Jungle Cruise”. The knife Marco uses to make his skin shirts is a dead-on model for the Slasher knife from Cobra.

  26. Cobra has the most 80’s cover art of all time… I remember seeing that winner sitting on my local Video Monster video store all the time. Also, I’ll do Tango and Cash tommorow. I love that movie and have only seen it a few dozen times. “Think it’s a dud?”

  27. I have not watched Cobra in a long time, but I remembered being 12 and loving it. Whenever I’d watch Run Lola Run I’d immediately start thinking of Cobra since, you know, they both have supermarket scenes.

    If you need someone to do a Tango and Cash podcast with I’d gladly do it. It’s scientific fact that Tango and Cash is the greatest non-John Carpenter Kurt Russell movie ever made. Also Stallone kicks an 18-Wheeler’s ass with a little gun. http://youtu.be/WsGq4_19p6Q

  28. The Cobra podcast is my favorite podcast to date. I keep this one on my iPod and have listened to it at least 10 times. I miss Mom as a cohost and would like to hear more Godzilla movie reviews with her; like “Godzilla Raids Again.” Love the podcast.

  29. Second Superdeformed’s request for you to do TANGO & CASH! Russell’s wonderful in it, and it features an early Teri Hatcher performance as Stallone’s kid sister that Russell’s sweet on which is fun – and Jack Palance showing Nicholas Cage how scenery-chewing is properlydone. Even Stallone’s not bad here, for a wonder….

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