Fat Man in Trenchcoat with Sword, Killing Vampires

Hold onto your viscera, because Against the Dark is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  A messy, straight-to-DVD action / horror movie, Against the Dark begs the question:  Which is the real lumbering, undead monster?  A vampire?  Or Steven Seagal’s career?

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11 Responses

  1. YARRRRGH 404’d!!! I’m still waiting for an Under Siege 2 review Mr. Chapman.

  2. My Internet service crashed as I was in the middle of uploading the podcast and creating the post to go with it. Everything should be working correctly now.

  3. You can’t fool me, that’s Jim Belushi…

  4. […] may be the shortest review ever! Which is the real lumbering, undead monster?  A vampire?  Or Steven Seagal’s […]

  5. Dude, Against the Dark. What about under seige, out for justice, marker for death,and har to kill. those movies you have to adment that should have done before this one…

  6. I love me some gore 😀

    I’m avoiding zombie flicks and vampire movies now, I’m on a cannibal fix at the moment.

    Oh, and your Mum is great! Mine cringes at bloody CSI.

    – Zac

  7. Well, now I can’t make a reply that says “Sounds like Steven Seagal is pretty hard to kill. So now all I can do is re-paste these quotes of his that’s attributed to him on IMDB and let you judge…for yourself:

    “I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol.”

    “Action films are great, but an action film that has characters that are compelling and a story that people can care about is something even better. We love to see action heroes that are vulnerable, that are sensitive, that are family people, that are accessible.”

    My rage meter increases ever so slightly whenever I encounter people who equate Jet Li with Steven Seagal.

  8. Steven shouldn’t have to keep making movies. This damn economy. Did anybody see that reality show where he was a deputy in New Orleans? It was supposed to be on A&E and I don’t know if it ever aired.

  9. Seriously? What, was he partnered with Gary Coleman?

  10. “I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol.”

    When the heck was Steven Seagal EVER a sex symbol????

  11. Under Siege, Marked for Death….He was actually a good martial arts film actor at one point.

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