Getting Gothic Up in Here.

Hold on to your ancestral family curses, because Black Sunday is The Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the Blu-ray cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Megan, aka “Brainchild“, from The Manga Test Drive.

Review in a Nutshell: A sumptuous pre-giallo Gothic horror film that is also a blatant Dracula rip-off, Black Sunday highlights the aesthetic choices that earned director Mario Bava the title of the godfather of Italian horror.

In The Immortal Words of Shakespeare, “Eff Off, Dracula!”.

Hold onto your blood, because The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the Bluray cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Oli “InvidNinja92” Bulmer.

Review in a Nutshell: An ambitious production troubled by a clash of directorial styles and studio difficulties, the Hammer Films / Shaw Brothers co-production that pits martial heroes against Dracula and his hordes of jiangshi servants is not quite the chocolate / peanut butter combination you would expect from a film that mixes Gothic horror with kung fu action.

Ooooooo, Spooky Vampires!

Pray for daylight, because Near Dark is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the particularly egregious Bluray cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Kyle “ChibiUFO” Foster.

Review in a Nutshell: Part Western, part romance, part vampire film, part motorcycle gang road movie, Near Dark is a film with revolutionary ideas and strong performances that is weakened by the simplicity with which it solves its central problem. Definitely worth a viewing or two.

GME! Anime Fun Time #04 – Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust

vhd_bloodlust_dvd

You were expecting Crusher Joe, but it was me, Vampire Hunter D(io)!

Terrible meme humor aside, July is coming to a close and we’d be remiss if we didn’t offer up another quivering slab of Anime Fun Time. This time Tom and I take a look at Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust, a slick albeit strange theatrical film from 2000. In a movie filled with vampires, torso-wolves, mechanical horses, steampunk tanks, and ghost lasers, can a fun time be far behind? Click on the movie title or the DVD cover above to find out!

Final Thought:

carmilla

Ghost vampires are like the worst kind of vampire.

Pre-Convention Double-Feature

bladeII

I’m going to be out-of-town next week, attending the Florida Anime Experience as a guest and running panels. So here are a pair of podcasts to tide you over in the mean time. CLICK HERE or on the poster above to download our review of Blade 2, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting. CLICK HERE or on the poster below to download our review of Cabin in the Woods, featuring Thomas Pandich and Franklin Raines.

the-cabin-in-the-woods

Naked Space Vampires

lifeforce_poster

Hold onto your precious essence, because Lifeforce is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring the UK’s own Ollie Bulmer.

Review in a Nutshell:  Great special effects, droll British performances, and the lovely Mathilda May can’t prevent this troubled Golan / Globus production from being tugged in too many different directions at once.  Is this the Greatest Movie EVER?  Ollie and I disagree.

“Werewolves Kick the @#$% out of Vampires, Part 1”

Break out the repeating crossbows, because Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or movie title above to download our review of the film.

Review in a Nutshell: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the best of the Underworld series, mostly because it riffs on Lord of the Rings rather than The Matrix.  Also, this time the vampires finally get what’s coming to them.

This movie contains:

Ugly Vampires.

Scruffy Werewolves.

‘Unconfirmed’ Kills.

Fat Man in Trenchcoat with Sword, Killing Vampires

Hold onto your viscera, because Against the Dark is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  A messy, straight-to-DVD action / horror movie, Against the Dark begs the question:  Which is the real lumbering, undead monster?  A vampire?  Or Steven Seagal’s career?