Michael Preston is a Wicked Wizard who Conquers the Space

Gather up your magic power crystals, because Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review, featuring guest host Mike Toole.  (He’s from the Internet.)

Review in a Nutshell:  Shamelessly cribbing from numerous other films such as Mad Max and Star Wars, Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is an inappropriately named piece of low-budget science fantasy.  Originally released in stereoscopic 3-D, this ambitious but incomprehensible little gem has been rescued from obscurity by a terrible DVD release.  (It’s also on Netflix Instant at the time of this writing.)

This movie contains:

Evil Australian Necromancers.

Cyborg Justice?

Jeffrey Byron’s One Facial Expression.

Crystar, the Crystal Warrior?

What’s wrong with your faaaaaaaace?

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Bad Highlander, starring the Worst Highlander

Break out the katanas and the rocking guitar solos, because Highlander: The Search for Vengeance is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuing Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Beautifully animated but structurally crippled, Highlander: The Search for Vengeance is still not the worst Highlander property, even if Colin MacCleod is hands-down the worst Highlander.  Paul blames the script; Sean blames the director.  A fabulous time is had by all.

This movie contains:

Chainsaw-wielding Cannibal Mutants.

Druid Ghosts.

Nice Mullet, Jerk.

Sweet Lovin’, Eighties Style.

FINAL THOUGHT:

The best thing to result from this anime.

Screw you, Moon!

Grab your glowing walnuts, because Message from Space is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the podcast, featuring the Most Dangerous guest host, Patrick Macias.

(Buy Otaku USA Magazine.  Buy Otaku USA Magazine.  Buy Otaku USA Magazine.)

Review in a Nutshell:  Space walnuts.  Lizard men.  Silver-skinned villains.  Blowing up the moon.  Space hot-rodding in space-dragsters.  What the heck did I just watch? 

This movie contains:

Drunken Vic Morrow.

Lizard Men with Whips.

Racist Robots.

This movie no longer contains:

The Moon.  (Take that, Moon!)

FINAL THOUGHT:

This was the expression on my face while watching this film.