God Bless Uwe Boll Part III: Not LotR, Srsly

Break out the boomerangs, because In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, aka Jason Statham Rides a Horse and Kills People, is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest co-host Daryl Surat of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  Uwe Boll has an amazing gift to take any film of any genre and any budget-level and transform it into a clattering wreck of ineptitude punctuated with moments of actual competance.  In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale is no exception, and might possibly be Boll’s magnum opus.

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13 Responses

  1. I had no idea this was based on a video game. I just knew this as the only sword and socery film I’ve seen that would cast a guy like Ray Liotta.

  2. When Zack reviewed this one for our podcast he really focused on Statham’s need to pull turnips. http://www.granateseed.com/futilepodcast/2008/01/25/tonight-we-dress-our-wounds/

  3. I remember seeing this film in theaters on an oath I swore to myself to see every Jason “The F**king Man” Statham movie released, no matter how dire the straights. I’d define Dr. Uwe Boll as QUITE dire, but thankfully I was almost comatose thanks to influenza while watching this movie. I just remember drifting through the film thinking “…Are those ninjas…?” and waking up and saying “…Burt Reynolds…woah, is he drunk or dying?” I will remember this film forever, but for all the wrong reasons…Great podcast, love how speechless Surat was at certain points.

  4. Not having seen the epic film in question I can’t comment to much, but I will say that during my viewing of the first trailer I remember thinking things like, “are those women swinging on jungle vines in formation?”, “are those real vines or metal poles with leaves glued to them?”, and “does this entire movie take place in the same square mile of forest?”

  5. When this movie hit the theaters, my friends had no idea what it was or who the magical troll fairy Uwe Boll was.

    I merely muttered to them “Ray Liotta as the Evil Wizard” and we couldn’t get to the movie theater fast enough.

    Truly this is pinnacle of cinema.

  6. This is a rare instance when I’ve seen the film BEFORE listening to the review. It was THE FIRST movie we requested from Netflix. There were two reasons for this decision and I am tickled that we weren’t the only ones who thought this: (1) Jason Statham rides on a horse and kills people and (2) Ray Liotta as an evil wizard.

    Paul, I’d love to hear your ridiculous wizard rock channel.

    Share it with us c’moonnn

  7. PS: Can’t believe there is no mention of Evil Wizard Ray Liotta saying “I can feel him inside of you.”

    I might just go to Walmart tonight and buy the blu-ray, goddamn.

  8. The king’s ninja’s, don’t mess with the king’s ninja’s!

  9. Not enough love for the flaming orc catapults. Cheers

  10. I’m one of those weirdos that actually really likes this movie. Then again, I’m not all that big on fantasy films, so maybe there’s your grain of salt. That’s not to say it’s better than Two Towers or anything like that, but there are worse fantasy films out there (I won’t list them, but I’m sure each of us can think of at least one fantasy film we’d put below this one without feeling any pangs of guilt).
    I’d also agree that of all of Dr. Boll’s video game films, this is probably the best, and it turns out Chris Taylor himself has almost nothing bad to say about the film http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/99204-Chris-Taylor-Has-No-Regrets-With-Dungeon-Siege-Movie . One of Boll’s complaints about making his films is that he gets almost no support from the original developers, but allegedly that wasn’t the case this time around.

  11. Paul, I have a VHS copy of a movie titled ‘Ninja Massacre’
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0199836/
    If you would like it for your collection, let me know and I’ll ship it to you. If not, totally cool, just thought I’d make the offer.

  12. The only funny part of POSTAL is when Boll himself appears int he film (as himself) and says that he funds all his movies with a cache of Nazi gold. “Someone has to spend it!”

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