Strap on your space bikini, because Star Crash is definitely the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin the Great.
Review in a Nutshell: Star Crash is an Italian Star Wars knock-off that is amazingly bad on every technical level. Ridiculous, absurd, and illogical, it manages to turn a 92 minute run time into a torturous cinematic experience that lasts an eternity. I love it. I haven’t laughed so hard in years.
This movie contains:
Leaping Cavemen.
Mind Lasers.
Joe Spinell, Space Tyrant.
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 
Yes! STARCRASH is my favorite bad movie of all time, Paul! It’s great – just the kind of movie that SF/Fantasy Movies’ Biggest Fanboy Ever Circa 1978 would make! It’s got everything from STAR WARS-inspired space dogfights and lightsabers, to Harryhausen-homage robots, to a villain who literally wears a floor-length cape so he can swirl it while barking orders and delivering gloating speeches! All this – and a starship with cathedral windows so two-man pods can smash through them!
It should come as no surprise that Luigi Cozzi (“Lewis Coates”‘s real name) owns and manages Profundo Rosso, a SF/Fantasy/Horror book/memorabilia shop in Rome named after one of his mentor Dario Agento’s best films.
“It should come as no surprise that Luigi Cozzi (“Lewis Coates”‘s real name) owns and manages Profundo Rosso, a SF/Fantasy/Horror book/memorabilia shop in Rome named after one of his mentor Dario Agento’s best films.”
Don’t suppose he sells Tees with the phrase “Stop the flow of time!” Printed on them. 😛
I saw this in the theater. There was me and my three buddies, and about twenty sailors on leave. That’s it. Pot smoke hung heavy in the air.
It only took a few minutes for us all to realize we were watching a craptacular, so we started MST3K-ing it. Fortunately, there were several really funny guys there. Even more fortunately, the rest had sense enough to keep quiet and let us riff.
It’s one of the best times I’ve ever had at a movie.
BTW Marjoe Gortner rose to national fame as a child evangelical preacher. Seriously.
As a young man, he gave a critically acclaimed performance in The Marcus/Nelson Murders, which was the pilot film for the TV show Kojak.
He’s probably best known for his role in the exploitation film Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw, which is famous for being the only time Lynda (Wonder Woman) Carter ever showed her bewbs on film. Yes, they are spectacular.
Sadly, I knew all of this off the top of my head.
Marjoe Gortner also won an Oscar for a documentary he made on professional evangelism, MARJOE, where he went back on the tent revival circuit with a camera crew to record what went on there. Basically, he burned his bridges behind him, and went into acting – he was good in American films at playing nervy characters (he was also in EARTHQUAKE, that huge ensemble that debuted “Sensurround!”), but like a lot of Americans who felt they were typecast went to Europe.
Wait you totally forgot that the reason to watch this film is Caroline Munro in skimpy clothes. Though mind you that fact still does not make up for how awful this movie can be.
To me, Marjoe Gortner will always be Evel Knievil’s son in “Viva Knievil.” (Which is itself a GME candidate when Evel Knievel, playing himself, heals a lame orphan in the opening scene.)
I was saddened by how completely insane the missiles were was completely glossed over in the review. If they had been the ordinary exploding missiles the movie would have been over as soon as they crashed through the windows. There is no conceivable reason to even invent missiles with a payload of space marines. The first time I saw that I was flabbergasted, even as a kid who missed most of the other insanity.
I LOVE this movie, and so do a lot of my friends; totally ridiculous and always entertaining. It’s right up there with Yor: Hunter From The Future, which you should see as soon as possible if you haven’t already.
Yeah, Dave G. – I was sad that Katherin didn’t get into the balls-out insanity of it all. Me, I figure its “badness” is almost a kind of genius – though I’ll agree that I’d hoped the titular “Starcrash” would be a bit more than just crashing a floating city into Zarth Arn’s gloved-fist ship! Even a dimensional-“warp” effect, with the city appearing inside of the ship and breaking everything to bits, would have made it more awesome – though I guess it was a bit beyond their budget by that point.