“Tubular, Dude!”

Watch out for random fish monsters, because Shocking Dark is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the title or the Blu-ray cover above to download our review of the film, featuring guest host Tom Pandich.

Review in a Nutshell: A Z-grade Italian exploitation film that manages to rip-off both The Terminator (1984) and Aliens (1986), Shocking Dark is none-the-less wildly entertaining in its brazenness. It truly has to be seen to be believed.

Getting Gothic Up in Here.

Hold on to your ancestral family curses, because Black Sunday is The Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the Blu-ray cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Megan, aka “Brainchild“, from The Manga Test Drive.

Review in a Nutshell: A sumptuous pre-giallo Gothic horror film that is also a blatant Dracula rip-off, Black Sunday highlights the aesthetic choices that earned director Mario Bava the title of the godfather of Italian horror.

Terrible Puns Incoming…

Hold on to your limbs, because Torso (1973) is the Greatest Movie EVER?

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest host Tom Pandich.

Review in a Nutshell: A fairly by-the-numbers serial killer exploitation film defined by its penchant for on-screen female nudity and misogynistic violence, Torso (1973) is elevated by a spectacularly suspenseful sequence in the film’s final act, but viewer discretion is strongly advised.

Lucifer Skips Leg Day

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Fire up your post-apocalyptic motorbikes, because Rats: Night of Terror is the Greatest Movie EVER!.

Click on the Italian movie poster or the title above to download our review of the featuring Oli “InvidNinja92” Bulmer.

Review in a Nutshell: A low-budget post-apocalyptic Italian exploitation film that borrows liberally from such source material as Night of the Living Dead and H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine, Rats: Night of Terror is worth viewing for some surprisingly well composed scenes and an ending that is baffling in ways that only a Claudio Fragasso script can achieve. Squeak, squeak.

FINAL THOUGHT:

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Do not use Google Image Search to look up this movie. The top results are massive spoilers.

This movie poster is entirely accurate.

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Polish up your golden, spiked bikini because Conquest is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the (ENTIRELY ACCURATE) movie poster or the title above

to download our review of the film, featuring guest host Oli Bulmer.

Review in a Nutshell: A dark fantasy Spanish / Italian / Mexican co-production that cribs liberally from such films as Conan the Barbarian, Clan of the Cave Bear, Clash of the Titans, and Beastmaster, Conquest is long on smoke machines and short on plot. Expect wolf men, cave men, swamp mummies, and bows that shoot lasers. It’s a very strange film which I think everyone should watch, because Lucio Fulci is a weird dude.

Revenge of the Worm Scene, Part Deux

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Get ready to face your fears, because Galaxy of Terror is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin the Great.

Review in a Nutshell:  A sometimes trashy, sometimes gruesome science fiction / horror movie with great production design and a well-rounded cast of character actors, Galaxy of Terror is half Alien rip-off and half homage to 1950s films like Forbidden Planet.  Watch it if you dare.

This film contains:

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Robert Englund, Space Commando.

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Eewie-gooey.

Satan’s School for Ghouls: Nude for Satan

Don’t sign any diabolical contracts, because Nude for Satan is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the film title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Ollie “InvidNinja92” Bulmer, formerly of the Welcome to the Brain Palace Podcast.

This episode is part of a cross-over event for the Mysterious Order of the Skeleton Suit.

Review in a Nutshell:  An Italian exploitation film with Gothic themes and a microscopic budget, Nude for Satan features one of the most hilarious “woman menaced by giant spider” scenes ever caught on film.

FINAL THOUGHT:

This is the Redemption DVD cover of Nude for Satan.  Neither this woman nor that devil paw appear in this film.

Croc Blocked

Bind up the bush pigs, because The Big Alligator River, aka The Great Alligator, aka Caiman, aka Alligator is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring the return of M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell:  Beautiful scenery, weird electronic music, and slick Italian cinematography combined with the lamest rubber alligator puppet you’ll ever see make The Big Alligator River a milestone of croc-sploitation.

This movie contains:

Photography!

Alan Moore?

Mind-boggling Special Effects!

Continue reading “Croc Blocked”

The Merry Adventures of Tito and The Wolfman

Zip up those yellow jumpsuits, because Turkey Shoot is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Oliver from the Welcome to the Brain Palace Podcast.

Review in a Nutshell:  An inexplicable mash-up of “women in prison” and “most dangerous game” films, Turkey Shoot is alternatively considered the apex and the nadir of Australian exploitation film.

This movie contains:

Friendly Fascists.

An Arrow Through the Mouth.

A Dapper Wolfman.

High Quality Family Entertainment

Get ready to clean up the streets, because Hobo with a Shotgun is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Daryl Surat of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  An anarchic Canadian film with a small budget but a huge heart, Hobo with a Shotgun has a twisted sense of humor and a great visual style.