The Only Thing More Treacherous than a Ninja is an Eggplant.

five_element_ninjas_dvd

Practice your secret techniques of Japanese rope-bondage, because Five Element Ninjas is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell:¬†Combining Chang Cheh’s trademark melodrama with superior athletic skills and hilarious gimmickery, Five Element Ninjas¬†represents the Shaw Brothers at the height of their game as producers of top-quality kung fu films.

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That Wu Du that You Do

Put on your secret kung fu master mask, because The 5 Deadly Venoms is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  One part Agatha Christie, one part violent gimmick kung fu, 5 Deadly Venoms is a classic that showcases the skills of some of the best martial arts actors to grace the silver screen.

This Movie Contains Stuff We Completely Forgot to Mention:

Throat Hook.

Brain Pin.

Ear Trauma.