The Only Thing More Treacherous than a Ninja is an Eggplant.

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Practice your secret techniques of Japanese rope-bondage, because Five Element Ninjas is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell: Combining Chang Cheh’s trademark melodrama with superior athletic skills and hilarious gimmickery, Five Element Ninjas represents the Shaw Brothers at the height of their game as producers of top-quality kung fu films.

Vincenzo Averello Attempts to Murder Us.

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In our ongoing quest to fulfill the IndieGoGo campaign perks, Sean and I tackle The Stranger and the Gunfighter (aka El kárate, el Colt y el impostor, aka Blood Money).

It’s a fusion of spaghetti Western and Shaw Brothers kung fu film that stars Lee Van Cleef and Lieh Lo.

It ought to be awesome, right? Click on the VHS cover or the title above to download our review of the film to find out.

Review in a Nutshell: This movie is bad. Really, really, really bad. Not the good kind of bad. The bad kind of bad.

Of Duty, Honor, and Scaffolding…

Lash up some bamboo scaffolding, because Return to the 36th Chamber is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Return to the 36th Chamber is a kinder, gentler kung fu film that’s low on murder but high on comedy and creative choreography.  Included in this review is a discussion of how to find good martial arts films for fledgling kung fu fans.

This movie contains:

Wirework.

Coconut Head.

BOSS WANG.  BOSS WANG.   BOSS WANG.

That Wu Du that You Do

Put on your secret kung fu master mask, because The 5 Deadly Venoms is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  One part Agatha Christie, one part violent gimmick kung fu, 5 Deadly Venoms is a classic that showcases the skills of some of the best martial arts actors to grace the silver screen.

This Movie Contains Stuff We Completely Forgot to Mention:

Throat Hook.

Brain Pin.

Ear Trauma.