The Only Thing More Treacherous than a Ninja is an Eggplant.

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Practice your secret techniques of Japanese rope-bondage, because Five Element Ninjas is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell: Combining Chang Cheh’s trademark melodrama with superior athletic skills and hilarious gimmickery, Five Element Ninjas represents the Shaw Brothers at the height of their game as producers of top-quality kung fu films.

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That’s Not Really What “Nonplussed” Means

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Get ready for improbable multiple weapon use, because The Legend 1 & 2 are both the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our reviews of the films, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: Despite some misleading American packaging, The Legend 1 & 2 (aka Fong Sai-Yuk 1 & 2, aka The Legend of Fong Sai-Yuk 1 & 2) are a fun mix of comedy, drama, and martial arts mayhem from the earlier 90’s. While it’s nice to see Jet Li in a comedic leading role, Josephine Siao ends up stealing the show as Fong Sai-yuk’s irascible kung fu wielding mother.

FINAL THOUGHT:

smile

Jet Li does indeed have a lovely smile.

Shine On, You Crazy Psychics

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Hold onto your neurons, because Push (2009) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Clarissa from Anime World Order.

Review in a Nutshell: Push (2009) is a high concept action / science fiction film with surprisingly well realized characters and some genuinely entertaining moments. With a little tighter editing, it could have been a fun little cinematic gem, but as it stands its more a diamond in the rough.

Final Thought:

bleeders

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~!

Emergency Podcast System: Pacific Rim

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Get back in your giant robot, because Pacific Rim is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Thomas Pandich of Tomics! By Tom!!! and the Alter Ego’s podcast.

Review in a Nutshell: If you have any affection in your heart for super robot anime or giant rubber monsters, you owe it to yourself to check out Pacific Rim. It has some of the best special effects and production design you’re likely to see for some time, and it manages to be uplifting and hopeful rather than gritty and grimdark.

Paul Was Once a Degenerate Kung Fu Hipster…

Hold on to your nunchucks, because Enter the Dragon is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  A genre-blending movie that reshaped the cinematic landscape, Enter the Dragon is the film that made Bruce Lee a legend.  While parts of it may seem hokey today, the Enter the Dragon remains consistently entertaining nearly four decades after its original release.

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Happy Cyborg Mother’s Day!

The Greatest Movie EVER!

Don’t have a Descartian existential crisis,

because Ghost in the Shell is the Greatest Movie EVER!

This movie contains:

I can see my house from here.

Naked Bungee Jumping.

Woof.

Basset Hounds.

I <3 Batou

Batou, probably my favorite character in cinema. (Besides Tank Girl.)

This just looks so wrong.

Kusanagi MOE-toko. OMGLOLZ.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you M.O.M.s out there,

and congratulations to FuzzyPrint

for winning the Make M.O.M. watch Ghost in the Shell Contest!