Ouroboros Pulp Rip-Off?

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Load up your double-barrel sawed-off shotgun (and never fire it), because King Solomon’s Mines (1985) is probably not the Greatest Movie EVER.

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin the Great.

Review in a Nutshell: While not the worst Indiana Jones cash-in nor the worst adaptation of H. Rider Haggard’s Allan Quatermain novels, the Canon Film Group’s version of King Solomon’s Mines is a serious contender for those titles. It’s really, really, really bad. Seriously, why is that giant spider lurking inside an active volcano?

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Character Actors on Parade, aka Bruce Campbell was in This?

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Fire up your standard-issue telecommunications laser generators, because Congo is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Zac Bertschy from Anime News Network.

Review in a Nutshell: Congo is a spectacular sort of failure, the kind of bloated, would-be blockbuster that combines solid character acting with a ridiculous plot and questionable special effects. Opinions are divided on the quality of the ape suit work. Hey, wait. Bruce Campbell was in this?

Brontosaurus gonna EAT YOU!!!

Load up the tranquilizer guns, because Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend is the “Greatest” Movie EVER.

Click on the poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M. and some embarrassing childhood stories.

Review in a Nutshell:   Slow, ponderous, and not particularly bright … and that’s not describing the dinosaurs!  I loved this movie as a kid; I had terrible taste.