Reign of Fire is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER. Or the Worst Greatest Movie EVER. We’re not sure.
It has dragons in it.
No, seriously. They breath fire and everything. And apparently, they wiped out the dinosaurs. All of the ones that weren’t safely sequestered in the Appatosaurus Preserve, that is.
15 Minutes, 16 Seconds In:
Getting ready for it…
Yes, folks. They even filmed it from underneath.
GO, STROMNIR, GO!!!
Sadly, shortly after this episode was recorded, the entire dinosaur population of the Appatosaurus Preserve was wiped out by an unknown assailant wielding a giant, freakin’ axe. Witnesses report that the assailant was heard shouting: “Yaaar, filthy dragons, taste the wrath of me blade!” The cryptic message “STROMNIR LIVES!” was found painted in dinosaur blood at the scene of the slaughter.
A composite sketch of the assailant, created by police artists.
This week we discover that Orca: The Killer Whale is, in fact, the Greatest Movie EVER.
I apologize for the sound quality on this episode. Apparently, there was a problem with Katherine’s microphone (no doubt caused by the jealousy waves she emitted after not getting to sit in the “comfy chair”) which I didn’t catch until post-production. So if it sounds like Katherine is shouting down a well, just try and pretend that she’s trying to communicate with Angel and George down in the Appatosaurus Preserve at the Center of the Earth.
Aw, isn’t that cute?
The hero of this picture: Orca, the Killer Whale.
Oh, sure, he looks cute now.
But cross him and he’ll eat you and everyone you ever loved…
See what I mean?
15 minutes, 11 Seconds In:
The lonely death of Umilak.
The ice crushes both ways. (SQUISH!)
16 Minutes, 45 Seconds In:
As you can see, our resident Beautiful Marine Biologist Lady is totally into Richard Harris…
…but then again, what lady could resist THIS?
You’re in luck! Two podcasts in as many days, featuring my first subterranean adventure with George and Angel as we delve elbow-deep into the soul-staining murk of The Fantastic Four!
No show-notes, though. You’re not that lucky.
Logan’s Run is the Greatest Movie EVER.
3 Minutes, 6 Seconds In:
Now that I think about it, that Carousel crystal looks like a giant Apple Sour Altoid.
6 Minutes, 54 Seconds In:
It’s kind of sad when your film’s Moses figure is Peter Ustinov as a Crazy Cat Guy.
7 Minutes, 28 Seconds In:
Steam Spears! OH SNAP!
8 Minutes, 14 Seconds In:
Box, the Resident Insane Robot.
Why don’t they ever invent a robot
that doesn’t go haywire and attempt to kill you?
I blame Y2K.
9 Minutes, 18 Seconds In:
This is what the directors were shooting for, visually speaking.
Ironically, my good friend Eddie turns 30 this September.
THERE IS NO SANCTUARY, EDDIE!
The Lost Boys is the Greatest Movie EVER. After all, a billion angsty teenagers that shop at Hot Topic can’t all be wrong…
9 Minutes, 15 Seconds In:
Who could possibly choose between these two, burning hunks of Manhood?
17 Minutes, 14 Seconds In:
When Undeath hands you lemons, make lemon-aide.
(Or blood-aide, if you’re a vampire.)
20 Minutes, 2 Seconds In:
Nanook, Mightiest of Vampire-Slayers!
Gentlemen, we have Dog-tackle(TM).
This week, the Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast features Streetfighter:
4 Minutes, 51 Seconds In:
That’s one ugly puppy, man. (Courtesy of One Ugly Puppy Productions)
12 Minutes, 22 Seconds In:
These guys are definitely not gay.
Definitely NOT Gay.
16 Minutes, 27 Seconds In:
The look on Chun Li’s face. (OWNED!)
17 Minutes, 29 Seconds In:
My girl Cammy. (Courtesy of www.cammyfan.com.)
The Chronicles of Riddick podcast is now available for your listening consumption.
4 minutes, 5 Seconds In:
These are the Necromonger, from Chronicles of Riddick:
13 Minutes, 59 Seconds In:
This is Dual-Wieldy Scythe-Guy.
He does not realize that two-handed, double-blade scythes
are not good for dual-wielding.
Isn’t life grand?
This week, Mom and I tackle The Dark Crystal.
3 Minutes, 12 seconds In:
The Skeksis: Guaranteed to Scare Little Children or Your Money Back!
3 Minutes, 47 seconds In:
7 Minutes, 17 seconds In:
The Garthim, for all your Giant, Marauding Beetle Needs.
17 Minutes, 24 seconds In:
Puppet Nudity! Dear Heavens, think of the Children!
18 Minutes, 4 seconds In:
Too much M-TV, man.
That’s it for this week! Visit again next week for more of the Greatest Movie EVER!
This week’s episode of The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast features a review of Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster. Yummy-licious. I’ve also decided to put up a few show notes for your ultimate edification. Enjoy.
8 Minutes, 30 seconds In:
The Lonely Death of a Put-Upon, Japanese, High-Rise Construction Worker.
12 Minutes, 25 seconds In:
Not tonight, Dear, I have a Haddock.
That’s some bad Acid.
13 Minutes, 44 seconds In:
The Godzilla Rocket(TM).
That’s all for now, folks!
Today, we celebrate our Independence with a Patriotic Podcast, in which Mom and I review American Ninja. Enjoy.