Cetaceans on the War-Path!

This week we discover that Orca: The Killer Whale is, in fact, the Greatest Movie EVER.

 

I apologize for the sound quality on this episode. Apparently, there was a problem with Katherine’s microphone (no doubt caused by the jealousy waves she emitted after not getting to sit in the “comfy chair”) which I didn’t catch until post-production. So if it sounds like Katherine is shouting down a well, just try and pretend that she’s trying to communicate with Angel and George down in the Appatosaurus Preserve at the Center of the Earth.

Aw, isn’t that cute?

 

The hero of this picture: Orca, the Killer Whale.

Oh, sure, he looks cute now.
But cross him and he’ll eat you and everyone you ever loved…

 


See what I mean?

 

15 minutes, 11 Seconds In:

The lonely death of Umilak.

 


The ice crushes both ways. (SQUISH!)

 

16 Minutes, 45 Seconds In:

As you can see, our resident Beautiful Marine Biologist Lady is totally into Richard Harris…

 


…but then again, what lady could resist THIS?

Logan’s Run and Lizard-Brains

Logan’s Run is the Greatest Movie EVER.

 

3 Minutes, 6 Seconds In:

Now that I think about it, that Carousel crystal looks like a giant Apple Sour Altoid.

 


See?

 


Anti-gravity Disco!

 

6 Minutes, 54 Seconds In:

It’s kind of sad when your film’s Moses figure is Peter Ustinov as a Crazy Cat Guy.

 

7 Minutes, 28 Seconds In:

Steam Spears! OH SNAP!

 

8 Minutes, 14 Seconds In:

Box, the Resident Insane Robot.
Why don’t they ever invent a robot
that doesn’t go haywire and attempt to kill you?
I blame Y2K.

 

9 Minutes, 18 Seconds In:

This is what the directors were shooting for, visually speaking.

 

Ironically, my good friend Eddie turns 30 this September.
THERE IS NO SANCTUARY, EDDIE!

Puberty and Vampirism Do Not Mix…

The Lost Boys is the Greatest Movie EVER. After all, a billion angsty teenagers that shop at Hot Topic can’t all be wrong…

 

9 Minutes, 15 Seconds In:

 


Who could possibly choose between these two, burning hunks of Manhood?

 

17 Minutes, 14 Seconds In:

When Undeath hands you lemons, make lemon-aide.
(Or blood-aide, if you’re a vampire.)

 

20 Minutes, 2 Seconds In:

Nanook, Mightiest of Vampire-Slayers!

 


The Dog-tackle(TM).

 


T-Minus:

 

5…

 

4…

 

3…

 

2…

 

1…

IGNITION!

 

Gentlemen, we have Dog-tackle(TM).

Concerning Ugly Puppies and Alternative Life-styles.

This week, the Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast features Streetfighter:

 

4 Minutes, 51 Seconds In:

That’s one ugly puppy, man. (Courtesy of One Ugly Puppy Productions)

 

12 Minutes, 22 Seconds In:

These guys are definitely not gay.

 


Yep…

 


Definitely NOT Gay.

 

16 Minutes, 27 Seconds In:

The look on Chun Li’s face. (OWNED!)

 

17 Minutes, 29 Seconds In:

My girl Cammy. (Courtesy of www.cammyfan.com.)

Bold, New Universes of Suck…

The Chronicles of Riddick podcast is now available for your listening consumption.

 4 minutes, 5 Seconds In:
These are the Necromonger, from Chronicles of Riddick:

Yeah.

13 Minutes, 59 Seconds In:
This is Dual-Wieldy Scythe-Guy.
He does not realize that two-handed, double-blade scythes
are not good for dual-wielding.
Isn’t life grand?

New Age Propaganda

This week, Mom and I tackle The Dark Crystal.

 

3 Minutes, 12 seconds In:

The Skeksis: Guaranteed to Scare Little Children or Your Money Back!

 

3 Minutes, 47 seconds In:

JERRY GARCIA!?!

 

7 Minutes, 17 seconds In:

The Garthim, for all your Giant, Marauding Beetle Needs.

 

17 Minutes, 24 seconds In:

Puppet Nudity! Dear Heavens, think of the Children!

 

18 Minutes, 4 seconds In:

Too much M-TV, man.

 

That’s it for this week! Visit again next week for more of the Greatest Movie EVER!

Al Gore’s Got Nothing on This One…

This week’s episode of The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast features a review of Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster. Yummy-licious. I’ve also decided to put up a few show notes for your ultimate edification. Enjoy.

 

8 Minutes, 30 seconds In:

 

The Lonely Death of a Put-Upon, Japanese, High-Rise Construction Worker.

 

12 Minutes, 25 seconds In:
FISH-FACE!!!

 

Not tonight, Dear, I have a Haddock.

 

That’s some bad Acid.

 

13 Minutes, 44 seconds In:
The Godzilla Rocket(TM).

 

That’s all for now, folks!

Attack of the Lichens!

Another week has gone by, and with it comes another Podcast, featuring a review of the execrable Underworld, a piece of sentient cinematic slime that oozed its way out of the primordial soup and permanently into the consciousness of the Almighty Gooberzilla. Seriously, this film is a sore on my brain. Watch it at your own peril.