The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Watch out for the naughty tentacles, because
The Host is the Worst Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Motiveless Villainy.
Dedicated Civil Servants Protecting the Public…kinda…
Idiots.
Oh yeah, there’s a Monster in here, somewhere.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
What watching this movie feels like:
TORTURE!
COMING SOON!
If only there were something that could wash
the awful taste of this pitiful excuse
for a Monster Movie out of my mouth…
OH WAIT, THERE IS!
Punk out your hair-do, because Tank Girl is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Malcom McDowell, a Friendly Man filled with Happy Feelings.
The always lovely Naomi Watts.
Impromptu Musical Numbers.
Ice T as a Mutant Kangaroo.
Oh yeah. Lori Petty’s in it, too.
Because the Almighty Gooberzilla never goes back on his word,
Love Actually is the Worst Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Nebbishness.
NEBBISHNESS.
NEBBISHNESS.
COMING SOON!
We’re going to wash the taste of this lukewarm treacle out of our collective mouths
with the help of damsels, robots, and a maverick cowboy samurai from Miami…
Packed to the brim with yummy eighties goodness,
The Monster Squad is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Dracula.
The Wolf-Man. (AWOOOOOO!)
The Creature from the Black Lagoon.
The Mummy.
Frankenstein’s Monster.
This movie also contains:
Children with a staunch belief in the Second Amendment.
COMING SOON!
Tim Robbins has issues…
Despite a compete lack of pie-eating scenes, Sky High is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Kurt Russell in a Muscle Suit.
Angry Pretty Boys.
Bruce doin’ what Bruce does best.
Sexy Evil Overlords in Robot Moon Boots.
This film does not contain:
PIE. (SOOOOOO GOOOOD!)
COMING SOON!
I really mean it, this time!
Anything is funnier if it’s in space, hence The Ice Pirates is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Danger!
Romance!
Space Herpes!
ZOMG ROBOTZ W / SWORDZ LOLZ!!111!!1111
The Disadvantages of Time Travel.
COMING SOON!
“We’re going to need a bigger chopper…”
Although Mortal Kombat is still Coming Soon, in the mean time (pun-intended) Santa’s Slay is the Greatest Movie EVER!
I’m sure everyone can see now how I could get these two movies confused…
1 Minutes, 51 Seconds In:
Goldberg is one Bad Santa.
2 Minutes, 55 Seconds In:
In addition to the Hell Deer, Santa’s sleigh also has rocket-boosters.
10 Minutes, 10 Seconds In:
Seriously, don’t you see the resemblance?
And with that, we here at the Greatest Movie EVER Podcast wish you Happy Holidays and Feliz Navidad. Until next time, adios amigos!
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 