The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Despite the presence of ‘The Swayze’,
Red Dawn is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER!
Once again, technical difficulties have prevented me from posting adequate screen caps.
As a token of my apologies, please consider this picture of a contemplative gorilla:
(Gorilla. Guerrilla. Get it?)
I’ll do better next time, I swear.
Also, the Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast has been nominated for a Parsec Award! Yay!
COMING SOON!
It’s all fun and games until someone mutates a bear.
Despite a general absence of Stuntman Mike,
Vanishing Point is the Greatest Movie EVER!
No screen-caps this week. I forgot to borrow Sean’s DVD.
Instead, here’s a pic of Barry Newman putting the schnoz-lock on Charlotte Rampling.
No woman can resist Barry Newman.
COMING SOON!
“Paranoia is just reality on a grander scale.”
The podcast is being invaded by Fast Karate, and Appleseed is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER!
This podcast contains:
Sexy Robots.
Various hooved mammals.
Little Moe Pig-Tailed Girls.
Robotic Octopus Tanks.
COMING SOON!
Dirty Lyle has a distaste for truckers…
Despite it’s lack of both plot and character, Van Helsing is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER.
This film contains:
Mysterious Strangers…
Gay Werewolves…
Practical Combat Outfits!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Hit it in its Weak-Spot for Massive Damage!
Stealth, like Reign of Fire, is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER. (Not great enough to be Greatest, not worse enough to be Worst.)
1 Minutes, 4 Seconds In:
EDI, the star of this picture. If I were in charge, I would design all of my robot-pilot AIs with friendly, soothing green LEDs, rather than the angry, rebellious red ones.
10 Minutes, 23 Seconds In:
(…I’m sorry, was I supposed to write a comment here? I got a little…distracted…)
11 Minutes, 38 Seconds In:
OX-CART NUKES OMG!
21 Minutes, 6 Seconds In:
Ganesh, the Remover of Obstacles.
COMING SOON!
Just in time for the holidays, the most horrifying film to hit the screen!
Reign of Fire is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER. Or the Worst Greatest Movie EVER. We’re not sure.
It has dragons in it.
No, seriously. They breath fire and everything. And apparently, they wiped out the dinosaurs. All of the ones that weren’t safely sequestered in the Appatosaurus Preserve, that is.
15 Minutes, 16 Seconds In:
Getting ready for it…
Yes, folks. They even filmed it from underneath.
GO, STROMNIR, GO!!!
Sadly, shortly after this episode was recorded, the entire dinosaur population of the Appatosaurus Preserve was wiped out by an unknown assailant wielding a giant, freakin’ axe. Witnesses report that the assailant was heard shouting: “Yaaar, filthy dragons, taste the wrath of me blade!” The cryptic message “STROMNIR LIVES!” was found painted in dinosaur blood at the scene of the slaughter.
A composite sketch of the assailant, created by police artists.
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 