R.I.P. Artax, We Hardly Knew Ye

 

Hold your horses, folks, because The Neverending Story is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie title or the Bluray cover above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin the Great.

Review in a Nutshell: A weirdly existential and somewhat traumatizing West German children’s film, The Neverending Story is a cultural artifact from a very strange and very specific era of the Eighties. They say you can never go home again, and perhaps with this film, that’s true in both the literal and metaphorical senses.

Advertisements

Australians Always Observe Proper Helmet Safety.

bmx_bandits

Wear your color coordinated helmets, because BMX Bandits is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell: This is an odd one. It’s a carefree children’s adventure movie filmed by a pioneer of violent, trashy Oz-ploitation flicks. BMX Bandits takes a while to deliver the bicycle-related goods and some of the stunts may seem tame by today’s standards, but overall this is a harmless kid’s movie filled with snarky, wise-cracking Australians.

Now with 100% Less Pony

rainbow_rocks_DVD

Break out your Guitar Hero controller, because My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks is the greatest movie EVER!

Click on the title or the deceptive DVD cover above to download our review of the film,

featuring Neil Nadelman and Kara Dennison.

Review in a Nutshell: At first glance, a shallow cash-grab sequel of a blatant toy-shilling spin-off. In actuality, a shockingly good story of struggle, failure, and redemption that surpasses the original Equestria Girls film in every way.

FINAL THOUGHT:

face_smush

CONFIRMED.

Inescapable Fart Joke

mod_poster

Put some underpants on your head and make silly voices,

because Master of Disguise is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Andrew from Collection-DX and The VEEF Show.

Review in a Nutshell:  Master of Disguise is a fascinating mess. It’s a comedy that isn’t funny. It’s a children’s movie filled with references that children wouldn’t understand. It’s a terrible film that all but killed Dana Carvey’s cinematic career, and yet I find it strangely compelling in a manner that is difficult to describe.

Paul Rudd Amnesia

mac
Enjoy some delicious Coca-Cola, because Mac and Me is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: One part crass product placement, one part shameless E.T. rip-off, one part existential horror movie, Mac and Me is an unlikely children’s film that needs to be seen to be believed. While indubitably a bad film, both Sean and I agree the film gets a disproportionate amount of hate.

Sean hates America.

It’s all magic fairy dust and pink sparkles here, because The Last Unicorn is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  The Last Unicorn is a beautiful and sophisticated children’s film that deals with some surprisingly complex themes.  Perhaps the film’s greatest weakness is the soundtrack, performed by America.

This movie contains:

Pirate Cats.

Unicorns in the Sea Foam.

I don’t care how many ‘bestiality’ jokes Sean makes, I think Lady Amalthea is pretty.

SATAN.

ERRATA:  Mia Farrow was actually in Supergirl not Superman; Peter Beagle is in fact still fighting for his residuals.