Category Archives: Zombies

Mysterious Muscle Crossover: Poe Knows Sinbad

Hoist the anchor and mind the mizzenmast, because Sinbad (1989) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the VHS cover or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest host Keith Allison of Teleport City and The Mysterious Order of the Skeleton Suit.

Review in a Nutshell:  A delightfully lunatic children’s fantasy hobbled by dreadful pacing and a bare-bones budget, Sinbad is nevertheless the Greatest Movie EVER to feature sock-puppet piranhas, rock monsters, and Lou Ferrigno punching his meaty fist through the Legions of the Damned.

This movie contains:

A Lost Viking.

Amazons.

Glamazons.

John Steiner, Paragon of Acting Technology.

PURE MANLINESS!

(No Skeleton Suits were Harmed in the Creation of this Post.)

“…and a Happy New Year (of the Cage?)”

Break out your Seal of Solomon rings, because Season of the Witch is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest co-host Jon Brescia.

Review in a Nutshell:  Triple-wolves, zombie monks, Ron Perlman head-butting everything in sight, and Nicolas Cage’s primordial hair piece…what’s not to like about this ridiculous supernatural “thriller”?

Move Over, Stanley Kubrick…

Buckle up for a beat-down full of bullets and babies, because Drive Angry is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring…a pair of mysterious, crime-fighting podcasters!

Review in a Nutshell:  One of my cohosts called me a crazy person for implicitly comparing this film to A Clockwork Orange.  He’s probably right.

Eldritch Horrors: Re-Animator

(Banner courtesy of Michael Scally.  Thanks, Mike!)

Hold onto your heads, because Re-Animator is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

This movie contains:

Mad Science.

Zombies.

Vigilant Security Guards.

FINAL THOUGHT:

Herbert West wants you to groove to the beat.

Der Uberklaw

Hide the mirrors, because Prince of Darkness is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click the movie poster or title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  A great concept hampered by some weak characterizations, Prince of Darkness is a film that almost suceeds at replicating Lovecraftian cosmic horror.  It serves as the second entry of John Carpenter’s “Apocalypse Trilogy”.

This movie contains:

Satan?

Satan.

SATAN!!!

Woman has Sex with Robot?

Strap on your go-go boots and grab your mighty sword, because Heavy Metal is the Greatest Movie EVER?

Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest cohost Gerald Rathkolb from AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  Uneven, over-sexed,  and outright weird in places, Heavy Metal is nonetheless a unique animated experience.  It might be even nerdier than T.R.O.N.

This podcast contains:

Terrible things, man, terrible things.

It Only Hurts the First Time.

Conga to the beat of the steel-drums, mon, because Weekend at Bernies II is the Greatest (Worst) Movie EVER!

Click the poster or the movie title to download the review.

Review in a Nutshell:  Remember Nietzsche?  That whole gazing into the Abyss, the Abyss gazes into you thing?   He was  talking about this movie.

This movie contains:

Bernie.

Voodoo Mind Control.

We completely neglected to mention Barry Bostwick.

“Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground…Democrat?”

Get out the Geiger counter, because C.H.U.D. is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  A cheesy horror film from the early eighties, C.H.U.D. succeeds thanks to solid performances from the cast, strong editing, and a psychologically-oppressive atmosphere.  The rubber monster suits help, too.

This movie contains:

Crazy Homeless People.

Grumpy Frumpy Face.

The mutation makes your eyes all glowy…

FINAL THOUGHT!

Producer Andrew Bonime’s response to the C.H.U.D. DVD commentary can be found here.

Fat Man in Trenchcoat with Sword, Killing Vampires

Hold onto your viscera, because Against the Dark is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  A messy, straight-to-DVD action / horror movie, Against the Dark begs the question:  Which is the real lumbering, undead monster?  A vampire?  Or Steven Seagal’s career?

Racism, Misogyny, and Zombie Insensitivity

Aim for the head, because Dawn of the Dead is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell: Low budget and slowly paced, Dawn of the Dead is the cornerstone of the genre for the zombie afficianados out there.  For everyone, else, well…

This podcast contains:

All Sean, all the time.