Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Serenity is a Movie, all right. It may be the Greatest Movie EVER, but I didn’t like it,
and Sean and Katherine deliver the appropriate savaging.
This film contains:
Too much River.
Not enough Mal and Jayne.
A nice amount of Charming Assassins.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Nate Fillion is the Man.
COMING SOON!
“You can’t hurt me with your pathetic Mind-Bullets!”
To heck with Shrek, The Iron Giant is The Greatest Movie EVER!
This episode features special guest host, Chad “Winter” Clayton.
His home-page, The Dead of Winter, can be found in the Blogroll side widget.
A BRIEF GUIDE
TO UNDERSTANDING THE EXPRESSIONS
OF YOUR GIANT METAL FRIENDS:
Quizzical.
Concerned.
Murderous Rage.
(NOTE: You probably want to avoid encountering this last one.)
COMING SOON!
Can you stop the Signal?
Prince is the bomb-diggity, and Purple Rain is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Apollonia, not Vanity.
Prince playing with puppets.
Morris Day and Al Sharpton Impersonators.
Impeccable Eighties Fashion Sense.
The Greatest Freeze-Frame in Cinema History.
COMING SOON!
What’s big and metallic and voiced by Vin Diesel?
Join me and special guest host Chad “Winter” Clayton to find out.
Brenda Bakke is smokin’ hot, and Gunhed is the Greatest Movie EVER!
EDIT: I forgot to mention that this episode features guest hosts Steve Harrison and Tim Eldred, a motley pair of treasure hunters.
This film contains:
Carrots.
Gunhed, Standing Mode.
Gunhed, Tank Mode.
CLOSING THOUGHT: How to Design a Bioroid!
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COMING SOON!
Yes, those are the cleansing waters of Lake Minnetonka.
I wonder what color the rain is there?
April Fool’s is over, and Dragonslayer is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Wizard Hats.
Weird Beards.
Unlikely Heroes.
Fire-breathing in Stereo.
COMING SOON!
GUNHED, standing mode!
Destroy all expectations, because Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is the Worst Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Villains with Choice Hats.
Ninjas. (Suddenly, hundreds of them.)
Red Hot Undead Mamas.
Touching Drama!
Kung Fu-wielding Dragons.
And speaking of Dragons…
COMING SOON!
Somebody call Stromnir!
Despite it’s lack of both plot and character, Van Helsing is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER.
This film contains:
Mysterious Strangers…
Gay Werewolves…
Practical Combat Outfits!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Hit it in its Weak-Spot for Massive Damage!
April 1st comes early, and XXX: State of the Union is the Greatest Movie EVER.
This film contains:
Ice Cube…
…Master of Disguise!
Also featuring:
Tanks!
Lots and Lots of Explosions.
NOTE:
Riddick not appearing in this Episode.
Despite the fact that you could defeat the bad guys with a large can of Raid(TM),
Godzilla vs Gigan is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie features:
Gigan!
(In retrospect, it probably was a poor choice of words
to describe Gigan using the phrase “chicken-head”.)
Anguirus!
We root for the under-dog!
Also featuring:
Corn-wielding Hippies!
Space Roaches!
And of, course…
The Showa Era Godzilla!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Don’t forget to show your support for forcing Mom to watch Akira.
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 