Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
All joking aside, Pan’s Labyrinth is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie includes:
Exploding Giant Toads.
Fauns and other fairy woodland creatures.
Peer pressure.
Ofelia: “This’ll make me cool, right?”
Pan: “Yeah, baby, the first one’s free.”
PEEK-A-BOO!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Okay, that’s enough darkness and depression for a while.
After all…
Guillermo just wants to make you smile.
COMING SOON!
Why is Frank Dux so upset? Tune in and find out!
Despite my inexplicable affection for the theatrical cut,
Highlander II: The Quickening (Renegade Version) is
the Worst Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
BIIIIIIIIIIRD-MAN!
Once again, BIIIIIIIIIIRD MAN!
Michael Ironside’s one facial expression.
Michael Ironside’s other facial expression.
This movie also contains:
“RAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEEEEEEEZ!”
This movie does not contain:
The Ozone Layer.
Despite a compete lack of pie-eating scenes, Sky High is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Kurt Russell in a Muscle Suit.
Angry Pretty Boys.
Bruce doin’ what Bruce does best.
Sexy Evil Overlords in Robot Moon Boots.
This film does not contain:
PIE. (SOOOOOO GOOOOD!)
COMING SOON!
I really mean it, this time!
Conveniently placed pommel-horses aside, Gymkata is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Cossack Ninjas.
Psycho Girlfriends.
Rigorous Training Regimes.
Mel Brooks Impersonators?
This movie does not contain:
Facial Expressions.
Everyone loves terrifying musical muppets, so Labyrinth is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
David Bowie.
Legions of Scary Puppets.
Space Jamaicans
CODPIECE
CODPIECE
CODPIECE.
This film does not contain:
Glorified Slash-fic?
Despite its director’s unfortunate last name,
Blue Thunder is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Helicopter fights.
THOR.
Mongolian Barbeque.
This movie does not contain:
Quentin Tarantino.
COMING SOON!
“What you say?”
Anything is funnier if it’s in space, hence The Ice Pirates is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Danger!
Romance!
Space Herpes!
ZOMG ROBOTZ W / SWORDZ LOLZ!!111!!1111
The Disadvantages of Time Travel.
COMING SOON!
“We’re going to need a bigger chopper…”
All jokes involving the Japanese Optimus Prime aside, Convoy is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Sorry for the general lack of show notes;
I’m in Miami attending Katherine’s graduation, and I don’t have access to my usual resources.
Okay, I lied. I couldn’t do without at least one Optimus Prime / Convoy joke:
COMING SOON!
AAAAAH! SPACE HERPES!
The podcast is being invaded by Fast Karate, and Appleseed is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER!
This podcast contains:
Sexy Robots.
Various hooved mammals.
Little Moe Pig-Tailed Girls.
Robotic Octopus Tanks.
COMING SOON!
Dirty Lyle has a distaste for truckers…
Despite Mom’s waffling, Akira is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click here to see the winning entry in the “Make Mom Watch Akira” Contest.
Congratulations, Alain Mendez!
The new opening / closing music is an original piece called “I’m Real” by Violence Mars.
Click here for the full-length MP3. And click here to visit Violence Mars’s mySpace page.
COMING SOON!
OH NOES! We’re being invaded through the Interwebs!
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 