Despite the protests of some sissy zombie-haters,
Slither is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
The rules of Alien Diplomacy.
Tender Alien Romance.
Heroics.
Friendly Zombies.
“Multi-Pass!”
Despite the presence of Chris Tucker, The Fifth Element is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Tiny Lister, Space President.
Space Ducks.
Space Orcs.
The most annoying man in the galaxy.
Oh, yeah, Milla’s in it, too. (MULTI-PASS!)
COMING SOON!
You know, a little Noxzema could clear that up…
Savage White Guy Atavism
It’s mutant bears all day, every day, in this remarkably family unfriendly film.
That’s right, Prophecy is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Rugged Man-beards.
Dog Bondage.
Armand Assante, Native American!
Owl Bears.
COMING SOON!
Oh noes, more Milla!
No Jiffy Pop in Heaven.
Despite the presence of ‘The Swayze’,
Red Dawn is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER!
Once again, technical difficulties have prevented me from posting adequate screen caps.
As a token of my apologies, please consider this picture of a contemplative gorilla:
(Gorilla. Guerrilla. Get it?)
I’ll do better next time, I swear.
Also, the Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast has been nominated for a Parsec Award! Yay!
COMING SOON!
It’s all fun and games until someone mutates a bear.
Karate Invasion! “Did you see her triceps?”
For those of you who didn’t get enough Fast Karate this Saturday,
Strange Days is the Greatest Movie EVER.
This podcast contains:
Those Dino-hatin’ outlaws, Dave and Joel.
This movie contains:
The lovely Angela Bassett and the less-than-lovely Juliette Lewis.
This movie also contains:
Fabulous hair-styles.
COMINGS SOON!
“WOLVERINES!”
California Speed LOLZ
Despite a general absence of Stuntman Mike,
Vanishing Point is the Greatest Movie EVER!
No screen-caps this week. I forgot to borrow Sean’s DVD.
Instead, here’s a pic of Barry Newman putting the schnoz-lock on Charlotte Rampling.
No woman can resist Barry Newman.
COMING SOON!
“Paranoia is just reality on a grander scale.”
“Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan!”
Not to be confused with its lackluster remake,
Rollerball (1975) is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Cesti. (Oooh, good Vocab word.)
Alfred Hitchcock Impersonators.
Stylin’ Seventies Fashion.
Coma-inducing Concussions.
Ghost Ride the Ugly Puppy
Although the blood-feud between Katherine and Mom continues,
Ghost Rider is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Matt Long as Young Johnny.
“The Cage” as Fully Grown Johnny.
OMG THEY COULD BE TWINS!
This movie also contains:
Sideburn sporting Emo Devil-babies.
Nicholas Cage, Master Thespian!
COMING SOON!
Obey the Fist.
Doesn’t ‘Infra-‘ mean Between?
Imitation, or Inspiration? Regardless, The Super Inframan is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Hong Kong Legend, Danny Lee!
Space Vixens.
Space Vixens.
MIND BULLETS!
Thunderball Fists.
COMING SOON!
Hey, who rattled your Cage?
Dark Ages Dating Advice
Despite its over-enthusiastic ad copy, The Vikings is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Ernest Borgnine.
A keen emphasis placed on the role of swords in Norse metaphysics.
(Pun intended.)
“You know, I don’t suppose I will kill you after all. I mean, standing here like this ready to strike the fatal blow,
I realize that you do resemble our late father rather strongly, and somehow it would just feel wrong to smite you
while you’re defenseless…”
“O RLY?”
“GAH! OH SNAP!”
This movie does not contain:
Giant enemy crabs. 😦
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 