Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
It’s mutant bears all day, every day, in this remarkably family unfriendly film.
That’s right, Prophecy is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Rugged Man-beards.
Dog Bondage.
Armand Assante, Native American!
Owl Bears.
COMING SOON!
Oh noes, more Milla!
Despite the presence of ‘The Swayze’,
Red Dawn is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER!
Once again, technical difficulties have prevented me from posting adequate screen caps.
As a token of my apologies, please consider this picture of a contemplative gorilla:
(Gorilla. Guerrilla. Get it?)
I’ll do better next time, I swear.
Also, the Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast has been nominated for a Parsec Award! Yay!
COMING SOON!
It’s all fun and games until someone mutates a bear.
For those of you who didn’t get enough Fast Karate this Saturday,
Strange Days is the Greatest Movie EVER.
This podcast contains:
Those Dino-hatin’ outlaws, Dave and Joel.
This movie contains:
The lovely Angela Bassett and the less-than-lovely Juliette Lewis.
This movie also contains:
Fabulous hair-styles.
COMINGS SOON!
“WOLVERINES!”
Despite a general absence of Stuntman Mike,
Vanishing Point is the Greatest Movie EVER!
No screen-caps this week. I forgot to borrow Sean’s DVD.
Instead, here’s a pic of Barry Newman putting the schnoz-lock on Charlotte Rampling.
No woman can resist Barry Newman.
COMING SOON!
“Paranoia is just reality on a grander scale.”
Not to be confused with its lackluster remake,
Rollerball (1975) is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Cesti. (Oooh, good Vocab word.)
Alfred Hitchcock Impersonators.
Stylin’ Seventies Fashion.
Coma-inducing Concussions.
Although the blood-feud between Katherine and Mom continues,
Ghost Rider is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Matt Long as Young Johnny.
“The Cage” as Fully Grown Johnny.
OMG THEY COULD BE TWINS!
This movie also contains:
Sideburn sporting Emo Devil-babies.
Nicholas Cage, Master Thespian!
COMING SOON!
Obey the Fist.
Imitation, or Inspiration? Regardless, The Super Inframan is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Hong Kong Legend, Danny Lee!
Space Vixens.
Space Vixens.
MIND BULLETS!
Thunderball Fists.
COMING SOON!
Hey, who rattled your Cage?
Despite its over-enthusiastic ad copy, The Vikings is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Ernest Borgnine.
A keen emphasis placed on the role of swords in Norse metaphysics.
(Pun intended.)
“You know, I don’t suppose I will kill you after all. I mean, standing here like this ready to strike the fatal blow,
I realize that you do resemble our late father rather strongly, and somehow it would just feel wrong to smite you
while you’re defenseless…”
“O RLY?”
“GAH! OH SNAP!”
This movie does not contain:
Giant enemy crabs. 😦
Robosexual undertones aside, RobotJox is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This episode features guest host Jeff “Rich Lather” Tatarek from the Lather’s Blather Podcast.
This movie contains:
Crazy Russians.
ROBO FOOT!
ROCKET PUNCH!
CLOSING THOUGHT:
What does this movie deserve?
THUMBS UP.
COMING SOON!
“Searching for Odin, my love?”
Despite it’s disturbingly high percentage of splits,
Bloodsport is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Charades.
Jean Claude, Master Thespian!
Bolo Yeung and his Pectorals.
This podcast contains:
Mentos. (The Freshmaker)
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 