Something Horrible in time for Halloween…

 

Gnash your teeth in agony, because Cool World is definitely not the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest cohost Gerald Rathkolb from AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  Crippled by a wretched script, bad performances, and a non-stop deluge of animated nonsense, Cool World mutates from an interesting premise into a movie so bad that even its creator has disowned it.  It’s almost enough to make me feel sorry for Bakshi for foisting this kind of film upon the viewers of the world.  Almost.

Logic: 1, Magic: Big Fat Zero

Dust off the lances and saddle up your trusty steed, because The Flight of Dragons is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest co-host Chad “Winter” Clayton.

Review in a Nutshell:  With a narrative borrowed from several different sources, The Flight of Dragons gets by more on its weird visual aesthetic than on the strength of its story.  This film is another Rankin / Bass related emotional scar on my childhood.

This movie contains:

Evil Dragons.

Scary Wizards.

Everybody Dies.

Woman has Sex with Robot?

Strap on your go-go boots and grab your mighty sword, because Heavy Metal is the Greatest Movie EVER?

Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest cohost Gerald Rathkolb from AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  Uneven, over-sexed,  and outright weird in places, Heavy Metal is nonetheless a unique animated experience.  It might be even nerdier than T.R.O.N.

This podcast contains:

Terrible things, man, terrible things.

Sean hates America.

It’s all magic fairy dust and pink sparkles here, because The Last Unicorn is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  The Last Unicorn is a beautiful and sophisticated children’s film that deals with some surprisingly complex themes.  Perhaps the film’s greatest weakness is the soundtrack, performed by America.

This movie contains:

Pirate Cats.

Unicorns in the Sea Foam.

I don’t care how many ‘bestiality’ jokes Sean makes, I think Lady Amalthea is pretty.

SATAN.

ERRATA:  Mia Farrow was actually in Supergirl not Superman; Peter Beagle is in fact still fighting for his residuals.

A Very Pretty Mess

Get ready to wave some hippy crystals, because

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within is (definitely not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  Technically astonishing but emotionally empty, Final Fantasy may have worked better as a video game rather than a full-length theatrical film.  A weak plot and cliche characters diminish the power of the film’s extraordinary visuals.

COMING SOON!

“Who put this giant cheese grater in my spaceship?”

Imminent Fursecution!

Watch out for crows with stalker tendencies,

because The Secret of NIMH is the Greatest Movie EVER.

Review in a Nutshell: A technically masterful work of animation by Don Bluth and company, the Secret of NIMH is hampered only by the inclusion of certain inexplicable mystical elements.  As a bonus, it’s also guaranteed to traumatize the kiddies with frightening images of danger and death.

No screencaps this time.  I watched the movie through Netflix’s ‘Watch Instantly’ streaming video service.