Category Archives: Fantasy

Michael Preston is a Wicked Wizard who Conquers the Space

Gather up your magic power crystals, because Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review, featuring guest host Mike Toole.  (He’s from the Internet.)

Review in a Nutshell:  Shamelessly cribbing from numerous other films such as Mad Max and Star Wars, Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is an inappropriately named piece of low-budget science fantasy.  Originally released in stereoscopic 3-D, this ambitious but incomprehensible little gem has been rescued from obscurity by a terrible DVD release.  (It’s also on Netflix Instant at the time of this writing.)

This movie contains:

Evil Australian Necromancers.

Cyborg Justice?

Jeffrey Byron’s One Facial Expression.

Crystar, the Crystal Warrior?

What’s wrong with your faaaaaaaace?

“…and a Happy New Year (of the Cage?)”

Break out your Seal of Solomon rings, because Season of the Witch is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest co-host Jon Brescia.

Review in a Nutshell:  Triple-wolves, zombie monks, Ron Perlman head-butting everything in sight, and Nicolas Cage’s primordial hair piece…what’s not to like about this ridiculous supernatural “thriller”?

Barbarian Smoochies

Break out your battle-axes, because Kull the Conqueror is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Flaming swords.  Rubber demons.  Tia Carrere as an evil enchantress.  Kull the Conqueror is an unrelentingly goofy but fun little barbarian film.

“Looky, looky, I’ve got Hookie.”

Think of a happy thought, because Hook is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin(e) the Great.

Review in a Nutshell:  A lavisciouly produced but fundamentally misguided fantasy film, Hook has its ups and downs.  What’s up with that burping crocodile, Steven Spielberg?

This movie contains:

Scurvy Pirates.

Captain James T. Hook.

The Boo Box.

Rufio.  (Never forget!)

Bakshi, Barbarians, and Buffalo Shots

Hold onto your broadswords, because Fire and Ice is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Gerald “Badonkadonk” Rathkolb of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  With an uninspiring storyline and an odd visual aesthetic, Fire and Ice skates by on the strengths of Frank Frazetta’s design.  Be warned:  negative stereotypes and gratuitous booty abound.

Move Over, Stanley Kubrick…

Buckle up for a beat-down full of bullets and babies, because Drive Angry is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring…a pair of mysterious, crime-fighting podcasters!

Review in a Nutshell:  One of my cohosts called me a crazy person for implicitly comparing this film to A Clockwork Orange.  He’s probably right.

Bonus Content: Avengers Assemble!

Time for some more kiddy cartoons!

CLICK HERE or on the image above to download a bonus episode in which Sean “Hollywood” Hunting and I gush all over Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.

Review in a Nutshell:  Avengers is one of only a handful of Marvel animated properties that does justice to the source material.  It’s a great animated series that can be enjoyed by children of all ages, with sharp writing and strong characterization.

FINAL THOUGHT:

The theme song is @#$%ing terrible, though.

Bad Highlander, starring the Worst Highlander

Break out the katanas and the rocking guitar solos, because Highlander: The Search for Vengeance is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuing Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Beautifully animated but structurally crippled, Highlander: The Search for Vengeance is still not the worst Highlander property, even if Colin MacCleod is hands-down the worst Highlander.  Paul blames the script; Sean blames the director.  A fabulous time is had by all.

This movie contains:

Chainsaw-wielding Cannibal Mutants.

Druid Ghosts.

Nice Mullet, Jerk.

Sweet Lovin’, Eighties Style.

FINAL THOUGHT:

The best thing to result from this anime.

The Seduction of Shark-Man

Batten down the hatches, because Cabin Boy is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Do not be fooled by that enticing poster art.  Cabin Boy is neither “hilarious” nor “fun”.  It will make your brain hurt, and not in a good way.

This movie contains:

Ice Monsters.

Cupcakes.

Russ Tamblyn, Siren of the Deep.

Bonus Content: Three-Person Pony Apocalypse

To heck with movies, it’s time to talk about some kiddy cartoons.

CLICK HERE or on the image above to download a bonus episode in which guest hosts Clarissa and Gerald from AnimeWorldOrder help Paul review My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Review in a Nutshell:  Our topics of the discussion run the gamut of gender roles, feminism, intertextuality, mythology, and the nature of strong characters and clever writing.

We explore thoroughly what it means to be adults enjoying a cartoon meant for children.  This podcast is a counterpoint to the one published by Jeremy and company over at Destroy All Podcasts DX.