Droppin’ Bombs with M.O.M.

Strap on your fur loincloth, because The Barbarians (1987) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the title or the DVD cover above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell: A thoroughly generic Conan the Barbarian rip-off buoyed up by its scattershot production design and the exuberant performances of Peter and David Paul (aka the Barbarian Brothers), The Barbarians (1987) is everything I’ve ever wanted in a Cannon Film Group film directed by Ruggero Deodato.

Rock Monsters and the Evil Influence of Uranus.

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Oil up those pectoral muscles, because Hercules Against the Moon Men is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the title or the movie poster above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell: Not actually a Hercules movie but in fact a Maciste film, Hercules Against the Moon Men salvages a surprising amount of production value from its costumes, locations, old school special effects, and the affable performance of Alan Steel, who never stops smiling even when beset by saber-tooth apes or spiky death-traps.

Cavemen with Laser Rifles, Pew Pew.

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Hold on to your fur boots and your flint ax-heads, because Yor: The Hunter from the Future is undeniably The Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin the Great.

Review in a Nutshell: A zany mash-up of post-apocalyptic and prehistoric films, Yor: The Hunter from the Future is buoyed up by the charming performance of Reb Brown as a futuristic caveman with perfect hair and a winning smile. Also included are lethal robots, savage tribes, and giant rubber dinosaurs.

FINAL THOUGHT:

The infamous hang-gliding scene.

100% Mythologically Accurate!

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Oil up your biceps and slap on your sandals, because Hercules (1983) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin the Great.

Review in a Nutshell: Like another film directed by Luigi Cozzi, Hercules is a visually exuberant, narratively bizarre movie filled with high concept ideas and low budget special effects. A tribute to the “peplum” films of the 1950s and 1960s, Hercules has a sort of insane charm that makes the viewing experience wonderful … as long as you don’t happen to be the younger sister of the host of the Greatest Movie EVER podcast.

This movie contains:

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SPACE.

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BEARS.

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Not to be confused with ‘Tiny’ Lister.

This movie poster is entirely accurate.

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Polish up your golden, spiked bikini because Conquest is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the (ENTIRELY ACCURATE) movie poster or the title above

to download our review of the film, featuring guest host Oli Bulmer.

Review in a Nutshell: A dark fantasy Spanish / Italian / Mexican co-production that cribs liberally from such films as Conan the Barbarian, Clan of the Cave Bear, Clash of the Titans, and Beastmaster, Conquest is long on smoke machines and short on plot. Expect wolf men, cave men, swamp mummies, and bows that shoot lasers. It’s a very strange film which I think everyone should watch, because Lucio Fulci is a weird dude.

Bakshi, Barbarians, and Buffalo Shots

Hold onto your broadswords, because Fire and Ice is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Gerald “Badonkadonk” Rathkolb of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  With an uninspiring storyline and an odd visual aesthetic, Fire and Ice skates by on the strengths of Frank Frazetta’s design.  Be warned:  negative stereotypes and gratuitous booty abound.

Mom Chooses Mexico

Strap on your sandals, because Conan the Destroyer is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:   It may not have James Earl Jones, but it has Grace Jones, and I think that more than makes up for it, thank you very much.

This movie contains:

Ahnold’s Hypno-Face.

Constipated Wizards.

Grace Jones being Crazy.

GORILLA WIZARD GHOSTS.

Addendum:  Scouring the Internet has uncovered this picture, evidence that suggests that Andre the Giant was in the fact the man in the Dagoth suit.