The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Watch out for the naughty tentacles, because
The Host is the Worst Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Motiveless Villainy.
Dedicated Civil Servants Protecting the Public…kinda…
Idiots.
Oh yeah, there’s a Monster in here, somewhere.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
What watching this movie feels like:
TORTURE!
COMING SOON!
If only there were something that could wash
the awful taste of this pitiful excuse
for a Monster Movie out of my mouth…
OH WAIT, THERE IS!
Trust nobody, because Impostor is the Greatest Movie EVER!
(And also the Worst Movie EVER!)
This movie contains:
Gary Sinise.
Vincent D’Onofrio.
Torture.
(Er, I mean “Geneva Convention Sanctioned Interrogation Techniques.”)
PARANOIA.
Keith David Impersonators.
Big Mutherin’ Explosions.
COMING SOON!
Turtle Recall?
My brain may be muddled, but is A Scanner Darkly
the Greatest Movie EVER?
This film contains:
DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS.
Paranoia.
Burned-out Hippies.
Keanu.
Alien Weirdos.
COMING SOON!
The Cage wonders what might be coming Next…
Monitor your greenhouse gas emissions, because
Solar Attack is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
An Angry Mr. Sun.
Lou Gossett Jr, President of the USA.
\
Nuclear Wessels.
SUPER SCIENCE!
COMING SOON!
Philip K. in the Hizzie!
(Special thanks to LCom for designing our banner.)
Strap on your scabbards, adventurers, because
Mazes and Monsters is the Greatest (Worst?) Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Helpful Skeletons. (“Beware the Sacrilege!”)
Crazy people.
Stupid Hats.
FINAL THOUGHT!
I hope that dragon fails its Saving Throw vs Doritos…
COMING SOON!
We’re going to keep this Satanic Death bus a-rollin’
when Chad “Winter” Clayton returns to take a stab at
The Black Cauldron.
Despite the presence of ‘The Swayze’,
Red Dawn is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER!
Once again, technical difficulties have prevented me from posting adequate screen caps.
As a token of my apologies, please consider this picture of a contemplative gorilla:
(Gorilla. Guerrilla. Get it?)
I’ll do better next time, I swear.
Also, the Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast has been nominated for a Parsec Award! Yay!
COMING SOON!
It’s all fun and games until someone mutates a bear.
For those of you who didn’t get enough Fast Karate this Saturday,
Strange Days is the Greatest Movie EVER.
This podcast contains:
Those Dino-hatin’ outlaws, Dave and Joel.
This movie contains:
The lovely Angela Bassett and the less-than-lovely Juliette Lewis.
This movie also contains:
Fabulous hair-styles.
COMINGS SOON!
“WOLVERINES!”
Despite a general absence of Stuntman Mike,
Vanishing Point is the Greatest Movie EVER!
No screen-caps this week. I forgot to borrow Sean’s DVD.
Instead, here’s a pic of Barry Newman putting the schnoz-lock on Charlotte Rampling.
No woman can resist Barry Newman.
COMING SOON!
“Paranoia is just reality on a grander scale.”
Despite its over-enthusiastic ad copy, The Vikings is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Ernest Borgnine.
A keen emphasis placed on the role of swords in Norse metaphysics.
(Pun intended.)
“You know, I don’t suppose I will kill you after all. I mean, standing here like this ready to strike the fatal blow,
I realize that you do resemble our late father rather strongly, and somehow it would just feel wrong to smite you
while you’re defenseless…”
“O RLY?”
“GAH! OH SNAP!”
This movie does not contain:
Giant enemy crabs. 😦
Despite its director’s unfortunate last name,
Blue Thunder is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Helicopter fights.
THOR.
Mongolian Barbeque.
This movie does not contain:
Quentin Tarantino.
COMING SOON!
“What you say?”
