Category Archives: Greatest Movie EVER

Dark Ages Dating Advice

The Greatest Movie EVER!

Despite its over-enthusiastic ad copy, The Vikings is the Greatest Movie EVER!

This movie contains:

Yep, he's shaggy.

Ernest Borgnine.

A keen emphasis placed on the role of swords in Norse metaphysics.

(Pun intended.)

Kirk Douglas hesitates.

“You know, I don’t suppose I will kill you after all. I mean, standing here like this ready to strike the fatal blow,

I realize that you do resemble our late father rather strongly, and somehow it would just feel wrong to smite you

while you’re defenseless…”

Tony Curtis sees an opportunity.

“O RLY?”

PWND!

“GAH! OH SNAP!”

This movie does not contain:

Giant Enemy Crabs.

Giant enemy crabs. 😦

Mazes and Monsters (Not Really)

The Greatest Movie EVER!

All joking aside, Pan’s Labyrinth is the Greatest Movie EVER!

This movie includes:

Don't kiss him. He ain't a Prince.

Exploding Giant Toads.

Fauns and other fairy woodland creatures.

D.A.R.E. to resist magical chalk!

Peer pressure.

Ofelia: “This’ll make me cool, right?”

Pan: “Yeah, baby, the first one’s free.”

PEEK-A-BOO!

CLOSING THOUGHT!

Okay, that’s enough darkness and depression for a while.

After all…

Owie.

Guillermo just wants to make you smile.

COMING SOON!

GAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Why is Frank Dux so upset? Tune in and find out!