Don’t have a schizoid embolism, because Total Recall is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
MISOGYNY.
Prosthetic Heads.
WAY COOL CG!
The Future Mrs. Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.
COMING SOON!
Chicks dig dudes with good skills.
Category Archives: Greatest Movie EVER
Big Month of Dick – Impostor
Trust nobody, because Impostor is the Greatest Movie EVER!
(And also the Worst Movie EVER!)
This movie contains:
Gary Sinise.
Vincent D’Onofrio.
Torture.
(Er, I mean “Geneva Convention Sanctioned Interrogation Techniques.”)
PARANOIA.
Keith David Impersonators.
Big Mutherin’ Explosions.
COMING SOON!
Turtle Recall?
Big Month of Dick – Screamers
It begins with scream, not a whimper
because Screamers is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Peter Weller, a king among actors.
Fragile people in bad situations.
Knife-licking Psychos.
TRUE LOVE?
UNDEAD ROBOT DINOSAURS FROM HELL.
Next up on the Big Month of Dick…
Keanu has had better days…
Global Wubble Will Kill Us All…
Monitor your greenhouse gas emissions, because
Solar Attack is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
An Angry Mr. Sun.
Lou Gossett Jr, President of the USA.
\
Nuclear Wessels.
SUPER SCIENCE!
COMING SOON!
Philip K. in the Hizzie!
(Special thanks to LCom for designing our banner.)
It’s just like Cool Hand Luke…
Grab your blood-bucket, because Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky
is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Pretty Boys in Prison.
TRAGEDY.
Mini-Bosses.
ULTRAVIOLENCE.
Religious symbolism.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
I’m so glad this Rude Dude…
…is actually this Foxy Lady.
COMING SOON!
WARNING! INCOMING NINTENDO PROPAGANDA.
“Did that Robot have a Mustache?”
Fear the Gooberzilla’s foam-flecked fanboy ravings, because
Transformers: The Movie is the Greatest Movie EVER!
See Also:
- Rich Lather’s Take
- Fast Karate’s Interpretation
- and DAPDX’s Savage Review of the Michael Bay Transformers.
This movie contains:
Pink Robots.
AAAAAGH! ROBO-SQUID!!!
He turns into a motorcycle. Please no ‘handlebar’-related jokes.
TRAUMA.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Where’s Hajime Sorayama when you need him?
COMING SOON:
I think we need to keep reviewing films that are just right for the whole family to consume…
PERFECT!
Labyrinths and Lollipops?
Strap on your scabbards, adventurers, because
Mazes and Monsters is the Greatest (Worst?) Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Helpful Skeletons. (“Beware the Sacrilege!”)
Crazy people.
Stupid Hats.
FINAL THOUGHT!
I hope that dragon fails its Saving Throw vs Doritos…
COMING SOON!
We’re going to keep this Satanic Death bus a-rollin’
when Chad “Winter” Clayton returns to take a stab at
The Black Cauldron.
The Horror within the Blur
Some spoilers ahead, so watch the movie first,
because Jacob’s Ladder is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
SILENT HILL.
SILENT HILL.
SILENT HILL.
ERRATA:
- Pruitt Taylor Vince’s medical condition is actually called “Nystagmus”.
- The Jezebel of the Old Testament was a worshiper of Baal. The Jezebel mentioned in the New Testament was the sexually promiscuous one.
COMING SOON!
Katherine is going to feel my pain…
“Wolfman’s got Nards.”
Packed to the brim with yummy eighties goodness,
The Monster Squad is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Dracula.
The Wolf-Man. (AWOOOOOO!)
The Creature from the Black Lagoon.
The Mummy.
Frankenstein’s Monster.
This movie also contains:
Children with a staunch belief in the Second Amendment.
COMING SOON!
Tim Robbins has issues…
It’s like ‘Love, Actually’…with Zombies
Despite the protests of some sissy zombie-haters,
Slither is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
The rules of Alien Diplomacy.
Tender Alien Romance.
Heroics.
Friendly Zombies.
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 