Skeletons in the Closet: The Screaming Skull

Pack up the peacocks, because The Screaming Skull is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring the return of the Mistress of Malapropisms.

(This episode is part of a cross promotional theme month for The Mysterious Order of the Skeleton Suit.)

Review in a Nutshell:  Make sure your life insurance policy is up to date and notify your next of kin, because The Screaming Skull just might frighten you to death!

This movie contains:

Skulls.

Skulls.

Skulls.

Normal Wife.

Skeleton Wife.

Barbarian Smoochies

Break out your battle-axes, because Kull the Conqueror is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Flaming swords.  Rubber demons.  Tia Carrere as an evil enchantress.  Kull the Conqueror is an unrelentingly goofy but fun little barbarian film.

World’s Smuggest Indian?

Call in the cavalry, because Navajo Joe is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

(NOTE:  The audio quality suffers a bit in this one.  I just moved and some switches got flipped, and the Skype conference was plagued with technical difficulties.  Apologies.)

Review in a Nutshell:  Navajo Joe puts the “spa” in Spaghetti Western.  Replete with inconsistent Spanish geography and Italian banditos, it’s the film Burt Reynolds wishes everyone would forget.

“Looky, looky, I’ve got Hookie.”

Think of a happy thought, because Hook is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin(e) the Great.

Review in a Nutshell:  A lavisciouly produced but fundamentally misguided fantasy film, Hook has its ups and downs.  What’s up with that burping crocodile, Steven Spielberg?

This movie contains:

Scurvy Pirates.

Captain James T. Hook.

The Boo Box.

Rufio.  (Never forget!)

Bakshi, Barbarians, and Buffalo Shots

Hold onto your broadswords, because Fire and Ice is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Gerald “Badonkadonk” Rathkolb of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  With an uninspiring storyline and an odd visual aesthetic, Fire and Ice skates by on the strengths of Frank Frazetta’s design.  Be warned:  negative stereotypes and gratuitous booty abound.

The Quest for One-Eyed Willy

Break out the pirate maps to buried treasure, because The Goonies is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin(e) the Great.

Review in a Nutshell:  A formative film experience from the Eighties, The Goonies holds up well as an adventure movie that is fun for children of all ages, even if you can see some rough patches with the eyes of an adult.

This movie contains:

Truffle Shuffle.

Ghost Pirates.

Cold-blooded Murder.

Katherin(e)’s Favorite Person in the Whole Wide World.

Move Over, Stanley Kubrick…

Buckle up for a beat-down full of bullets and babies, because Drive Angry is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring…a pair of mysterious, crime-fighting podcasters!

Review in a Nutshell:  One of my cohosts called me a crazy person for implicitly comparing this film to A Clockwork Orange.  He’s probably right.

Bonus Content: Avengers Assemble!

Time for some more kiddy cartoons!

CLICK HERE or on the image above to download a bonus episode in which Sean “Hollywood” Hunting and I gush all over Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.

Review in a Nutshell:  Avengers is one of only a handful of Marvel animated properties that does justice to the source material.  It’s a great animated series that can be enjoyed by children of all ages, with sharp writing and strong characterization.

FINAL THOUGHT:

The theme song is @#$%ing terrible, though.

Bad Highlander, starring the Worst Highlander

Break out the katanas and the rocking guitar solos, because Highlander: The Search for Vengeance is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuing Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Beautifully animated but structurally crippled, Highlander: The Search for Vengeance is still not the worst Highlander property, even if Colin MacCleod is hands-down the worst Highlander.  Paul blames the script; Sean blames the director.  A fabulous time is had by all.

This movie contains:

Chainsaw-wielding Cannibal Mutants.

Druid Ghosts.

Nice Mullet, Jerk.

Sweet Lovin’, Eighties Style.

FINAL THOUGHT:

The best thing to result from this anime.

The Seduction of Shark-Man

Batten down the hatches, because Cabin Boy is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Do not be fooled by that enticing poster art.  Cabin Boy is neither “hilarious” nor “fun”.  It will make your brain hurt, and not in a good way.

This movie contains:

Ice Monsters.

Cupcakes.

Russ Tamblyn, Siren of the Deep.