Once Again, Space Vampires. Maybe.

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Squeeze into your patent leather jumpsuit, because Planet of the Vampires is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Jeremy of Destroy All Podcasts DX.

Review in a Nutshell: A pulpy science fiction / horror film made on no budget whatsoever, Planet of the Vampires nevertheless succeeds because of Mario Bava’s invasive cinematography, the weird aesthetics, and the clever twist. The film conveys a strong sense of tension throughout.

See You, Space Cowboy.

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Beware of space banditos, because Battle Beyond the Stars is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the Bluray disc cover or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring Jeff “Rich Lather” Tatarek.

Review in a Nutshell: A science fiction pastiche that borrows liberally from The Magnificent Seven and Star Wars, Battle Beyond the Stars is nonetheless a low-budget romp that showcases a young James Cameron’s eye for production design and also includes colorful performances from veteran character actors.

This movie contains:

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John Saxon, Space Tyrant.

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Melancholy Lizardmen.

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Hey, man. It’s impolite to point.

How John Preston Got His Groove Back

equilibrium_poster
Burn the Mona Lisa, because Equilibrium is the Greatest Movie EVER!

 Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell: Although it fails to strike the proper balance between brainy science fiction and dumb action movie, Equilibrium is a movie that succeeds despite itself, mostly on the strengths of Christian Bale’s performance and the action scenes featuring gun-kata, the improbably entertaining fictional martial art of wielding firearms.

This movie contains:

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Sean Bean, Offender of Senses.

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ACTING.

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“Hey, not my face. I need that.”

Revenge of the Worm Scene, Part Deux

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Get ready to face your fears, because Galaxy of Terror is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherin the Great.

Review in a Nutshell:  A sometimes trashy, sometimes gruesome science fiction / horror movie with great production design and a well-rounded cast of character actors, Galaxy of Terror is half Alien rip-off and half homage to 1950s films like Forbidden Planet.  Watch it if you dare.

This film contains:

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Robert Englund, Space Commando.

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Eewie-gooey.

Cyberpunkin’ the Information Superhighway

Boot up your Cybercycle Discs, because Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Andrew from The Veef Show.

Review in a Nutshell:  Lawnmower Man 2, aside from being a cultural artifact of early `90s science fiction film, is a hilariously inept chunk of pseudo-cyberpunk cinema that makes for a rollicking fun watch.

Where does the rocket sled go?

Fire up the rocket-sled, because TIMECOP is the greatest movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Ridiculous nudity, bad physics, henchmen with villainous hair, Ron Silver stealing every scene he’s in, and Jean Claude doing the splits.  Truly, TIMECOP is the apex of Western film.

This movie contains:

Presented without further comment.

ERRATA:  I meant Joel Schumacher, not Jerry Bruckheimer, when discussing Flatliners.

If Loving Robots is Wrong…

Hide the freon, because Crash and Burn is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Andrew from The Veef Show.

Review in a Nutshell:  A low-budget science fiction slasher film, Crash and Burn cribs more from The Terminator than from earlier Charles Band properties.  Along with Robot Wars, this is one of many films purported to be a sequel to Robot Jox.

This movie contains:

The Future!

Hand Trauma.

Bill Moseley, Paragon of Acting Technology.

Melancholy Robots.

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